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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


Dear WeepyOne and Grumps,
I am so sorry for you both. I know how you are feeling now, as I had 3 miscarriages prior to 3 months and 1 stillbirth at 5 months. The dr's don't know why I lost the 1st three children, but when I was 5 months along during a healthy pregnancy I found out I had an incompetant cervix. I got pregnant a 6th time, and the dr's gave me a cerclage to sew my cervix closed @ 12 weeks along; I remained on bedrest for the last 7 months of my pregnancy and I now have a happy, healthy, very energetic 15 month old son.
My point is, although the pain you both now feel is unbearable, try to see through it to the time when you both WILL be successful. You will make it there one day. That thought isn't going to make the pain you feel now any less painful though, and I know this.

If your doctors do not know the reason for your miscarriages, then when you DO conceive again, you need to ABSOLUTELY, RELENTLESSLY INSIST that they monitor you closely the next time.

I don't know if this helped me at all, but after I lost my son @ 5 months I knew I would concieve again eventually - so I made sure I took prenatal vitamins AND an extra pill of folic acid every day. I did whatever I could to make myself as healthy as I could, and 6 months later I concieved Nicholas. I went to the doctor for every single little thing, no matter how minor I thought it would be. I made sure I told everyone there how I was and what I felt. I went to the Labor & Delivery dept. at the hospital for anything that felt the slightest bit out of the "ordinary" - even though this was the 1st time I was getting this far along. From the 4th month on till the end I was there every 2 weeks, it seemed. I kept getting contractions and needed shots to stop them. At first the dr's and nurses said it was normal, and things were going the way they should... but this time I didn't cre what they said, I INSISTED that they check me out. Wouldn't you know it but my cervix was thinning out again, and they had to give me something for that. If I didn't follow through and insist, who knows what would have happened? I don't want to think of that.

Nothing can change what has happened already, but perhaps knowing what you now know can help you in the future. I don't know why things happen the way they do - but we can always learn something from them.

I wish you both the best of luck, and I hope you make it through this terrible time quickly and can go on soon. Take care.





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