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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

HI everyone

I haven't been online in awhile, computer problems.
It has been almost 10 months now and what a ride. Patrick died Jan. 11 2005 and I have not been the same since. I am coping and surviving.
Working full time and living my life as normal, although we did move to another town and get new jobs over the summer. I was on anti-depressent until last month. I went off in order to loose weight and also we want to start trying again soon for another baby.
I am a little more emotional since being off the anti-D, can't believe how much it helped me, kept me from obsessing over everything. Also now, the holidays are coming and last year at this time I was having showers thrown and was very pregnant and excited and picking names and all the fun stuff of being preg. IT is also the time of year I found out I had gestational diabetes and that was a dark time for me. So I am dreading the holidays, it was to be our first as a family. Now all I have left are photos and momentos, instead of a happy healthy almost year old child. I have much feelings of guilt that I should of done more when I noticed little problems, such as decreased movement and swelling with me. My doctors made it seem like everything was no big deal and I was the worry wort. I didn't know better but my gut told me something wasn't right. I kept convincing myself I was just overworried.
I have been through a lot of medical stuff this year with getting blood clots in my leg and also finding there were blood clots in the placenta which caused him to suffer oxygen deprivation. I had been on coumadin for 6 months to keep the blood thin and have been advised that if I get preg. again I should take heparin shots to keep blood from clotting.
I do hope to be pregnant and have a child but I am more afraid than I thought. Do I have the physical strenght to get through another high risk pregnancy? Am I emotionally able to deal?
Meanwhile I have all these baby things, a nursery, etc. I can't just let it sit here forever! I am in my almost mid 30s so I can't wait forever either.
I am wondering if anyone else has lost their little one at birth and if so, did you try for another? How did it go? Also, does anyone have similar problems with blood clots?

Thanks for listening. . . I am so sorry for everyones losses that have posted on this board. Our angels are waiting for us and looking over us.

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