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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


hey, im new to these message boards but i really could do with some friendly advice from people who have been there,
december 27th i find out were pregnant,, after tryin from about may and i cannot describe how elated I am , then friday 6th it starts (2 days after my daughters 2nd birthday), my heart races as i see the small amount of blood and i instantly know what lies next (after having a miscarriage 7 years ago) so fighting back the tears i call my husband and ask him to come home, as soon as the phone is down i cant hold it in any longer and sob. I manage to get myself together just before he bursts through the front door. minutes later im in the a&e in our local hospital. reliving my frightning nightmare to each nurse who comes to examine me. so numerous tests and a scan later they discover that our baby (refered to by the doctors as ''a sac'') is around 4 and a half weeks, so the only way to discover what is happening is to take a blood test to test the amount of hormones present and then re test on monday. so all weekend i sob and i cry and i stare into space and prepare myself for the worst,, but theres still that tiny 4 and a half week bit of hope that i hold on to ,, secretly inside believing that it will be ok. then saturday comes,, and the bleeding gets heavier,, but hey,, the pain isnt like last time,, maybe this time it will be just a scare.. but all day i lay there like a zombie ,, afraid to think so i just sleep ,,, at least when i am sleeping i cant cry. sunday rolls by.. then monday morning comes, so we get up extra early and get to the early preg unit for 8 am ,,, more blood tests,.. now i go home and wait for 3 oclock (the time which the nurse says the results should be back) 2.59 and my heart races once more,, i feel sick,,, 4.oclock and still no news.. at 5.30 i finnaly build up the courage to call the unit and ask for my results.. and wham!,,, i think a ton of bricks have actually crushed me as i listen to the nurse confirm the worst, ''Gemma,, im sorry to say your hormone levels have gone right down,, you have miscarried''. In those few seconds, my hopes have died and i realise that is it,,, my mother calls and tells me the same ol rubbish like,, you can have another one, i want to scream ''but i wanted this one!'' everyone i talk to tries to help but they just manage to say the wrong things.. please forgive me for the long message but i feel just that lil bit better for writing it all down, i know i have to grieve and i know it will get better with time but any advice or tips from people who have actually been there would really help.
thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts,
gemmalou

P.S i dont know if many other people have found these pages but they make jewellery especially for pregnany and stillborn losses [url]http://www.littleangelsonlinestore.com/[/url]
and
[url]www.labelledame.com[/url]


My love for you will last an eternity
My hopes and dreams now carried
on the fragile wings of each butterfly passing





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