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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

Well I really hate that I have to post this...I would have been ten weeks thursday...My first concern came when at my ten weeks I started to have brown blood spots...This past tuesday, then on wednesday started passing little red brown chips...I started praying to the lord like I have never prayed before..That is when my hopes all went down I knew I was starting to miscarry...My doctor made an appointment yesterday at 3:20...As soon as she put the ultrasound on I saw no heartbeat...She looked at every angle..I yelled out I know you don't see a heartbeat...My eight week five day checkup went so well..They baby grew from five weeks and the heart was strong...Then now as I was seeing the baby grow even more, but just had no heartbeat...That was really hard to take...She told me that there was nothing I did to harm the pregnancy, stress she said is a myth...That miscarriage's happen from the chromosomes not forming right which leads the baby to abort itself... I told her I really want a dnc..I didn't want to see what was going to pass, since I had a previous miscarriage at six weeks it was aweful then...But a part of me wanted it to pass naturally...As it did last night at 1am...I got up to start having the cramps sat on the toilet to feel like a clot just passed...I got up to look down to see the placenta (which I knew it was because they say it is grey) then right next to it..I couldn't believe my eyes..Two little blue eyes looking at me...I said that can't be the baby that small...Two inches long...I ran to my bed to get my husband to look, at first he said he didn't want to see then he did..I couldn't stand the fact of flushing my baby after seeing those eyes...I took the baby out of the toilet..Put the baby in a cup, when all the features starting pointing out at me...The baby's little eyes, nose, mouth...The baby's little arm's fingers..The baby's little legs toes...And for what I could see the genital's looked like I was going to be having another boy..I did not want to flush my baby down the toilet...I told my husband lets go bury the baby somewhere special....My husband came over to look as we both broke down and cried...Why Lord did this have to happen, I tell myself I don't understand the reasons why, as I know the lord as his own reason's..But in time I will understand....As this can only make my husband and I stronger...I can only say the lord did let me see my baby, which I am grateful for since I was going to have an appointment for a dnc on monday...The lord at least answered that prayer for me...I wanted the baby to pass last night as the baby did..
I would love to know if anyone had a story like mine..I told my husband I can only imagine what women go through further along with pregnancy and a miscarriage takes place...The hardest thing I have ever had to deal with I have to say was this..This was our baby HOPE our little angel to watch over us for our new pregnancy to come.... :angel:

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