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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

What should I say?
Jul 26, 2006
My husband and I have two of friends who were expecting to deliver soon. Tonight we received a text message which stated "Call us". Thinking that they were going to relay the good news of an early delivery (she was 38 weeks today) we happily called them eager to hear about their new baby only to be told that their son died in utero and she was being induced immediately.

They both felt the baby kicking this morning and everything was "normal", but when they went in for their weekly pre-natal appointment there was no heartbeat. Further tests revealed that the baby died sometime between this morning and early afternoon.

What can I do for our friends to comfort them right now? After having two children of my own I cannot fathom the pain they must be experiencing and I just want to be able to "be there" for them. My husband asked the father if they were going to plan a service (not something I would have asked before inducing, but it was an honest question) and he said that they did not know what they were going to do. I do not want to pry and increase their grief, but I don't want to hurt them by pretending this baby did not exist either. My heart is breaking for our friends, any suggestions on how to handle this?

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