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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


Hey,

I lost my baby on the 4th on this month, and i was 4 months pregnant and went through a lot of pain and early labor pains with the need to push. The whole process took 4 days and i was bleeding for around 10.

When i first went to the doctors after 3 days of cramps and 2 days of bleeding with clots, the hospital took some tests and said i was still pregnant and sent me home and said not to worry. I knew i was loosing this baby and i knew there was nothing i could do. But it surprises me how cold some people can be about the subject.

I have a 2 year old from an unsupportive ex, so i don't even feel like i can begin to grief around him because he hates to see me upset, so i have to lock it up. I feel like if i cry i wont stop.

My boyfriends brothers wife wanted a baby in sync with us so as soon as she found out i was pregnant she tried for on too and succeeded. Shes now 3 months pregnant and i found out a few days after i miscarried. I don't know if this is normal but I'm feeling very resentful around her, and cant seem to pluck up the feeling to be pleased for her.

So i just wondered if those feelings were normal or not.

I really dont know how to grief without crying, but as i have a 2 year old i dont feel i can.
Because of this i have become snappy at people i love because i dont feel like anyone is giving me enough space to get my bearings and that everyone is pushing me to get over it.

I have been to a few different board sites but none are replying so i thought i would try here

Im so sorry for everyones losses...
I am so sorry for your loss!!! I to recently had a m/c on August 1 after my husband and i tried for 8 years and had 2 surgerys and finally became pregnant the first month after my last surgery. We both felt like it was to good to be true, although it was true it was not to last. About 1 1/2 weeks after my m/c i found out that my brothers fiance is pregnant and due just 1 day after i was to have my baby. I to felt angery towards them and so I to truly know how you feel because that is the reason that i joined this web site and it truly helped me to know that i was not the only one going through this. I to felt the same way that you do and I also felt like I had no hope but, it does get better!!!! I used to cry daily since i lost the baby but i have now went 1 WHOLE day with out crying. I know that it doesn't seem like a long time but to me just getting through 1 whole day with out tears gives me hope. I hope that you gain strength from all of us hear although we are not proffesionals we are all part of a community that cares about one another and that is truly a blessing:angel:

MAY GOD GRANT YOU THE STRENGTH TO GRIEVE WHEN YOU NEED TO GRIEVE AND THE STRENGTH TO HEAL WHEN YOU ARE READY TO START HEALING.

Just remember that it only hurts more when you keep the hurt inside so when you are feeling down and need to talk we are all here for you!!!!!!!!
I know exactly what you mean. I know its natural to feel jealousy or resentment towards my SIL, and i do feel pleased in a way, but half me wants to just ignore her. I think she feels very awkward around me, which i can understand, and she feels bad. Which is why i need to confront her more or less, because its not fair for her to feel bad because im jealous.

Im feeling better today and have smiled abit. I feel abit more relaxed and have more energy to play with my son.

Im sorry for your loss, after trying for so long, i had my first baby at 16. And then got pregnant again, I MC because my ex pushed me down the stairs, as he didnt want another baby. I didnt have time to cope with grief, i had a baby to look after and had to escape, so i never grieved for my little angel.
My partner and i have tried for 5 months to get pregnant, and succeeded. I thought i was only 3 months, when i was infact 4. On the first month i bled, which i presumed was a period, we now believe our little girl mustva been ill and that was a sign which i didnt realise was. So she was taken to heaven.

I hope you get through this okay, and im glad this is such a caring community.

Much love to you, and good luck :) xx
I can so identify with you and how you feel. I was six months pregnant when I lost my son. He would have been due around 14 Oct (Iím not looking forward to that month). But the best thing I can tell you is that I understand why you would feel bad about grieving in front of people, especially if you donít feel comfortable in front of others. But if you have to, go somewhere alone or find someone you can talk too. I finally went to work this week after a 45-day leave and on Friday I almost had a break down. I swear I wanted to do bodily harm to everyone in my office. They are all malesÖ when I came back to the office they acted like nothing happened. Like it wasnít important. So I went to my boss and he let me have the day off. Bottom line is if you keep things bottled up itís not going to do you or anyone around you any good. You have to get that out of you before you do something you might regret and especially before you try again. My fiancť and me both want to try again as soon as possible. But you have to be healthy in your emotions first because your baby can feel that. Also you have to do it for your other child; children are not stupid, they know when something is wrong. Your actions will always give it away. Donít let people rush you through your pain. One, they have no right to do so and second, itís definitely not going to do you any good in the lone run. This will be a struggle but Iím starting to see you can get through thisÖbut first you have to grieve. Itís okay and that doesnít make you weak. If others have problems with you showing youíre in pain it could be they donít know how to handle this type of stuff. Let them know your not expecting them to say some miraculous thing that will take away the pain. You just need a shoulder to lean on. I pray the best for you.

Be blessed,

~True





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