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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

You know, I want to say how impressive and sweet it is that you have written to each and everyone of us who have responded to you. Thank you for that, it mde me feel good.

Yes, it is true I was born in 1983 and am 23. Pretty young to be dealing with all of this. But good news too is we are young and we have plenty more years to hopefully have a healthy live baby.

I feel really alone no one really knows what its like to be going through this sort of trauma. My friends have even admited feeling helpless in that they can't relate but know I am in pain. One thing I hate is to be felt sorry for. But..what can you do.

I have been married for two years and my husband and I actually decided to wait a couple years befor we even started to have a family. Then six months into the marriage I became pregnant on Birthcontrol. It was a surprise but of course I was estatic. I was actually in Boston visiting my family when I m/c and lance my husband was home in Washington. I was eight weeks.

After that m/c in October 05' I couldn't stop thinking of being a mom. A new found desire in me had been awakened. But my husband talked me into starting BC again and waiting before we to try again. However I was having a hard time and I really wanted that baby. Finally, my husband agreed for us to try again and after a month and a half I got pregnant. But lost that baby at7 wks in June. That one was really hard actually even though I wasn't that far along. I did not get a D&C and my husband and I even though we tried to prevent so, concieved just 2 wks after that June m/c with #3. I was so sick with her and miserable but at the same time happy because I was sure she would be my charm. I just knew it! I never got morning sickness with the others or grew in the tummy. Things were just so different and I thought that meant she would stick.

With this last one I too have thought this was a never ending nightmare. I had my first D&C, then two weeks later on Oct 3rd I woke up with the most painful cramps ever. I went to the bathroom and oxygen rich red huge clotty blood would not stop pouring out of me. I had to get to class and was trying to frantically clean it up to no avail for over an hour... I made a mess everywhere, was hemmorhging I called my mom on the phone on the other side of the country, shes an OB nurse. I yelled at lance to wake up and come in there. My mom said I needed to get to the hospital. I had to have an emergency D&C and a blood transfusion for low hemoglobin. When my doctor told me that, I threw up my hands (barely as I was weak) to say I give up. what was also hard was I stayed in OB unit for recovery and heard the heart beat monitors and new born babies crying.

after my second m/c the doctor did a bunch of blood work to rule out certain problems associated w/ m/c's. All came back neg. After the third I finallly went to a reproductive endocrinologist for some help maybe. He said when I had my period in Dec. to come in and they would start some differ tests. They will also try clomid and progesterone supplements as well as aspirin in case my blood tends to want to coagulate, which I think it does. I have always passed lots of clots in periods. I don't know we shall see. Dec is here I was supposed to have my period on the 12th. Its late but I seriously doubt I am pregnant and think its just screwed up due to the surgeries.

Are you going to wait before you try again?
How are you feeling now? Better or worse.

How is your husband dealing with this?

Mine cried when we saw the baby moving and heard her heartbeat. When we saw her unmoving and dead, I knew he was distraught but he was more concerned for me...But I knew he was down. He seemed to get over it though in like two days. I know thats not true though and men just deal with losses like this differ than us women since we carry these babies and may bond with them more.He keeps droping hints that we should wait to try for awhile...Yeah..I just don't know about that as I think of having a baby a lot.....

Wow this is wicked long. Sorry. haha

It does help though to write.

Take care, Jess

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