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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

Hi jo905,

Thanks for your kind words & advice & also sorry to hear about your losses also!

Sorry it's taken me a little while to reply, however i had a great response to my post & wanted to reply to all who wrote me individually :) It's actually harder than i thought to reply to everyone, as i feel as though i'm not keeping up with them, however.... Guys if you're reading this..... i am getting to you!!! I haven't forgotten :dizzy:

I hadn't yet felt my baby move, as this was my first pregnancy & they say you may not feel any movement with your first up until about 19 or 20 weeks anyway, so i was quite upset about that, as that could have been a good indicator for me when my baby did die. Like you said though.... it's very possible that they do shrink after they die, cos i know my DR told me that mine appeared to have shrunk a little bit from his view on the ultrasound screen, but he was basically saying that it had died earlier (at approx 13 weeks) and had probably shrunk over time as it began to break down. I saw her after i'd passed her though & she didn't look as though she'd been dead for 4 or 5 weeks..... & i questioned with my doctor whether the amniotic fluid (which had only burst the day of her birth), would keep them somewhat preserved, & he said that inside the womb, babies decompose & breakdown at a different rate to humans that are exposed to the air in the outside world and therefore although she may not have looked quite as though she's been dead for that long.... that it's most likely that she had!!!

The DR also said my baby was even quite small for a baby of 13 weeks, but they allowed for the shrinking & they measure gestation by the baby's foot size which i guess doesn't change much, even if shrinking of the body begins first. Atleast you have a round about idea for yours, but i have only what the DR has told me & i find it sooo hard to believe!

I keep trying to think of things that happened around that 13 week time & whether certain things could have been when my baby was dying! (such as what i thought was just indigestion..... or when i had some stomach discomfort which made me feel like diarrhea was coming on & i ended up vomiting & nothing else.... no diarrhea!) I thought this was just related to the fact that i hadn't eaten much all day & all i had eaten were brazil nuts & a bottle of water.

The weird thing was though, that when i vomited, it was 2 days before my 12 week NT scan when everything appeared fine. However i do wonder whether that was the start of it, because on that last scan at 12 weeks, the doctor couldn't get the baby to wake up so she kept asking me to cough and also asked me to let out more urine in order to wake her up to measure the space behind the baby's neck (for down's syndrome). I did this & when i returned she had woken up but didn't appear happy at all. She was bouncing around in there like she was really agitated!!! I asked if this was normal and whether she can harm herself doing that, and the doctor said they have a lot of cushioning in the womb & the doctor didn't appear to be disturbed or concerned about it.... so i just thought it was normal & put it down to my baby being grumpy that i had woken her :angel:

But in your case.... you're the best judge of whether your baby was still alive cos as you said.... you felt him kicking.... & then 2 days had passed with nothing!!! Sounds as though you're right :)

I finally understand what they mean by missed miscarriage aswell now, as i thought that meant that you miscarried without realising that you're even pregnant.... like an early miss or whatever they call it. I know that on my referral for my D&C the DR had written that i'd had an incomplete miscarriage, (although i hadn't passed any products of conception at the time.... only blood..... & my waters had broken), however this is what was written on there and i've read things since that say that an incomplete miscarriage is when you pass the baby or fetal tissue & have to have a D&C afterwards to remove the other products of conception because they didn't pass with the fetus.

So i hadn't yet passed the baby or any fetal tissue & it was still referred to as an incomplete miscarriage. I guess he knows what he's talking about though & it probably is referred to as that, as it was still not complete when i was referred. Perhaps he didn't write on there that it was a missed miscarriage, as mine wasn't completely missed because i was bleeding and my waters had broken.... which are both huge signs that something is wrong :confused:

I 'll have to check with him at my next appt in a weeks time, as i'm stil unsure, & questions like that still need answering.... even if they seem small in comparison to the rest of what we're dealing with. I mean...... some people will say "A miscarriage is a miscarriage! Does it really matter about the technical side of things". But it does to a lot of us, & it definately weighs on our minds :yawn:

Anyhow... better keep moving. Thanks for your help.... it's been useful!!!

Take care & all the best to you too:wave:

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