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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

I'm so sorry to hear you've lost a little one! I also found out at 17wks that my baby had died. I chose to wait two weeks to see if my body would pass the baby on it's own but it didn't happen.

My dr wanted to do a D&E (suction) but I said absolutely not since I wanted to see my baby (I had seen him on ultrasound knew he was about the size of a 14-15 weeker).

I was induced at 19wks and delivered a boy (Asher Nathaniel). We declined the exam and autopsy so that we could take him home and bury him close to us.

I have never regretted seeing my little one either. I have a friend who is a professional photographer and she came and took pictures for us to remember him by (even at that very early age he looked just like my husband).

Less than a year later (and after 2 more early losses) we found that yet another of our babies had died at 13wks. We had heard the heartbeat with the doppler the day before he died (it was 139). I just felt something was wrong so had my midwife listen for the heartbeat the following day and there was nothing; an u/s confirmed it. I again waited two weeks to see if things would start up on their own but they didn't. I was induced at 15wks and delivered another little boy (Joash Paul). We brought him home and buried him next to his brother.

All together we've had 7 losses. It's been a very difficult road since there have been no answers for us. I have had a variety of testing done and it has largely come back normal (I have thyroid antibodies). My dr has theories about why I might have been miscarrying but no definite conclusions.

To offer you some hope, I am now 24wks pg and things seem to be going very well (5 of my losses were since my last full term baby was born; between Nov. 2004 and Dec. 2005...the other two losses were in Aug. 2000 and Aug. 2002). I was put on Prometrium (progesterone supplement) right after I ovulated and stayed on it until 12wks gestation. I'm also on thyroid replacement hormone.

Even with this new baby on the way I ache for my babies we've lost. I've only recently allowed myself to become excited about this pg since I had feared being disappointed again. It's a lot of hurt and sometimes it seems like it'll never stop (I'm not sure if it every does go completely away).

We've decided to plant a rose garden where our babies are buried and a dear friend of mine gave us a beautiful tree to plant in memory of them.

My SIL paints family trees and when she did ours she incorporated the initials of all our "heavenly babies" subtely into the vines. It means a lot to me that she recognized their precious lives (we named even the babies we didn't know the gender of because although we never saw them or held them they are part of us).

My heart is with you! I pray you'll be blessed again soon with a healthy pg and a healthy sweet pea!

Love and Prayers, Kelly
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I had miscarried twins in November, although I didn't know I was having twins until they told me I was miscarrying. They said the babies had problems at 5 weeks, but I didn't start bleeding until I was almost 10 weeks. I was really excited about the baby even though I am 18 and young. The part I wish I didn't get at was one doctor told me everything will go back to normal and be fine with a good pregnancy, when another doctor told me I'm going to lose the babies. I was confused but being the person that I am I hoped for the best. My family was excited I was having twins and they were all talking about it. So me and my husband decided that we were going to wait 5-6 years before we tried for another baby.
But to our suprise come December (just a month after) I did an HPT so I can schedule an appointment with a doctor the test came up negative...but a 10 days later I did another (wasn't sure when I would have ovulated so to be on the safe side I waited 10 days. The test was a perfectly clear positive. I cried...I cried alot. But now we are making the best of it. My husband is really supportive and he really appreciates this pregnancy. I worry all the time ecspecially now since I should be around 9 weeks, almost 10.
I have changed so many things from the first pregnancy til now. I have a reagular doctors appointments when before I didn't go because of insurance but now we are putting money aside as an option and got a really great plan to help us out. I also even changed everything that I do, I even changed my entire attitude. My husband is constantly talking to the baby and kissing the baby so the baby knows that he loves him/her and has something to fight for. He really does help. Although I am already completely attached, I couldn't imagine losing this baby. It will be the most hurtful thing for me to handle. I have come to realize tho that it really isn't to common to have a successful pregnancy after having a miscarriage and not waiting a full cycle. But I am hoping everything goes good. I really feel that this will be a great change in both my husbands and my life. I try not to worry about it because stress can also lead to a miscarriage. I get cramps every now and again but they never last a full day or longer then 5 minutes. But everywhere I read it says it is normal to experience mild cramping around this time because the uterus is in the process of expanding. I have an appointment on the 12th so i will talk with the doctor about that. I also have experienced cramping such as these my whole entire life (well since I started my periods) so I don't know if its normal or if its not. But so far everything seems to be going well and I ill find out a little bit more on the 12th. Its hard having to go through it so soon after and knowing that the chances are 50/50 but I would rather live on the better side knowing and hoping it will all be ok. It seems as though I like to write novels as well...I love writing and details for me is always a given and I couldn't help but share my story with you in full.
It is a hard thing and it is hard to get past not knowing how the next time around is going to be. You are a very strong person and very considerate and I greatly appreciate how well you have handled this.
I can't answer why it took so long for you to miscarry and know if anything was wrong, but as you did, I went almost 5 weeks with two babies struggling to grow properly and the doctors didn't even know what they were talking about. I do hope though everything goes ok with me this time around despite the risks. I have changed my whole entire life around for this pregnancy so that I can make this work out. My husband as well has done so much to help me out with this pregnancy. About the only thing left to do is wait for the ultrasound after the 12th and see really how everything is going...and hopefully i am able to hear the babies heartbeat and then get some reassurance that everything is going ok at this point.
I wonder why these things happen to good people...why strong healthy women who could be great mothers have such trouble with pregnancy, when so many women who are on drugs their entire pregnancy, or who don't want their babies can go through it without a breeze or such as a problem in the pregnancy. But when the time is right for you to start trying again I wish nothing but a happy and healthy pregnancy and a beautiful healthy baby.

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