It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


Hi everyone,

First post here as i'm a newby so i'm not sure how to really explain my experience very clearly, but i'll do my best so that you should get a pretty uncomplicated idea of what happened and maybe be able to share some of your knowledge with me.

So on Saturday the 9th Dec 2006 i was 17 wks pregnant (1st pregnancy) and had had no worrying bleeding (except light spotting at 4 & 8 wks which the DR put down to implantation bleeding, as it was brownish in colour and considered old blood that may have just broken away from the uterus wall as the baby was implanting into the womb).

I woke at 4:30am when i felt a quick warm gush (very much like someone tipping a bucket of water on your crutch)..... definately didn't feel like a trickle, although i was asleep, however i am a light sleeper & usually know when i need to go to the toilet during the night.

So i jumped out of bed (at this stage thinking i had wet the bed) & went to the toilet and did a normal wee, which i thought was a bit strange, considering i had just wet the bed, but i just put it down to the baby possibly putting pressure on my bladder and me leaking a little bit. I then had a shower & when i was drying myself i noticed a drop of blood at my feet. I then wiped with toilet paper and there was a bit more (but a brownish colour), so i put a sanitary pad in my underwear and tried to go back to sleep, but i was still confused at the bed wetting thing. I tried not to worry too much about the bleeding at this point, cos as i mentioned earlier in my post, i had spotting early on in my pregnancy & was told that some ppl go their entire pregnancy with spotting & that given the times of my bleeds, i was probably only spotting when i would have normally gotten a period, so i didn't stress too much about it. Also it was brownish so i though it was not an issue unless it was red!

Anyhow..... this is going to go on for a while, so i hope you are all into reading short novels, as i'm a bit of a blabber queen and i tend to really describe everything in detail, so sorry if i frustrate any of you.... although i'm sure you're all very happy to help & also just read :yawn:

So when i woke in the morning (Keeping in mind that i had had no cramps or anything following my bleeding) my pad had quite a bit of blood on it but it looked watered down and still a more browny colour and this is when it occurred to me that i may not have wet my bed, and that it could have actually been my waters breaking. SO i called the emergency centre & they called me in to listen for a heartbeat... & although the nurse said she thought she got a very quick listen to the heartbeat of the baby.... i wasn't convinced! Mothers instinct i guess!!! She said that i either have a very active bowel or a very athletic baby, as she thought it was moving around in there, not staying still and that's why she couldn't locate the heartbeat for a long period of time! She shouldn't have said anything really, cos she raised my hopes a little, although i did suspect something untoward was happening.

So from here she told me she'd contact my obstetrician and ask him if there was anything else she could do for me before she sent me home, and because there were 2 other patients that had the same obstetrician as me, he came in & did a scan with the screen (which apparently the nurses weren't qualified to use or something). This is when he said there was not much fluid around my baby and that it looked as though the sac had collapsed. I was devastated.... but sooo numb i couldn't cry! I just kept looking at his facial expression while he was looking at the screen, cos he hadn't actually said in that many words that my baby had died, but i could tell it had and i knew that without the sac with the fluid, my baby couldn't survive even if there was a heartbeat.

He then told me gently that there was an absent heartbeat & that my baby was in fact dead and that she (we found out following the examination after my D&C) didn't appear to be the normal size of a baby at 17 weeks, therefore he was quite sure that she had actually died a couple (4, maybe 5) wks ago, shortly after my 12 week NT scan (scan for down's syndrome).

I was then referred to a better equipped hospital (about an hours drive) for a D&C. When we arrived there i passed something as we were walking in the hospital doors and i knew it was my baby, so i asked to go straight through to a toilet, where i removed the baby from my underwear & placed her in a container. I didn't really look at her as such..... didn't examine her if you know what i mean, so when i gave the container to the nurse, i was still quite shocked & although i could make out that it was my baby.... i didn't actually take notice of her arms and legs (only her body & head). So as you can imagine i was a little dazed by this & feeling quite icky to say the least :eek:

Long story short... or as short as i can cut without depriving you guys of a good insight...... my husband & i decided to view the baby's body to give us some closure & also cos i was asking questions about whether she had legs & arms. So they brought her in (in a little tiny basket with a blanket), and gave us some time with her. At this stage we didn't know her sex tho.... we actually thought it was a boy which is quite sad, as we kind of said our goodbye's to her as tho she was a boy and that hurts!!! Saying goodbye helped tho..... & the fact that i could see her perfect fingers & toes and that she actually did have legs & arms & facial features was comforting!!! I would have refretted not viewing her, as i would have only had that one image in my head, of when i put her in the container in the toilet cubicle.

So to finish off, (i don't know how ppl can keep a post to 5 or 6 lines, cos i'm writing a novel here), i had a D&C to remove the other products of conception (which was my placenta & a blood clot) and was sent home the following morning as the operation went fine!

Now for my questions tho.... i've been festering all week trying to determine why (when the baby is thought to have died at 13 weeks gestation), did i not get any bleeding until 17 weeks? And also why i didn't get any cramping or other signs of miscarriage (not that i'm complaining as my heart goes out to those who have had painful miscarriages). I'm so confused as the only time that i can remember having bad cramps (so bad in fact, that i had to clutch my lower tummy and was in quite a bit of pain in bed), was at 15 weeks.... but thought it was indigestion as it started after my evening meal and was quite high up in my chest initially & moved down lower as the night progressed, and it wasn't until my last 2 weeks (from 15-17 wks) that i started showing/growing.

Not sure why i didn't seek doctors help when i got my cramps, but i did not see any concern as there was no bleeding or anything else to suggest i was miscarrying and also the pain was gone by the next morning anyway. Has anyone else experienced this (having no cramps/minor cramps & no bleeding initially???) Also has anyone else experienced their waters breaking that long after the death of their baby.....(Somewhere around 4-5 wks after???) Also, i'm confused at how my baby could have died at 13 wks without my body recognising this and giving some kind of sign. I carried my dead baby inside me for 4 or 5 wks thinking she was fine.... waiting so eagerly for my next scan to see how big she had gotten..... and then this!!!

I can't understand why my sac was still growing, without my baby being alive..... but the only thing i can think of, is that my body didn't regognise this straight away & it wasn't until my sac recognised that there wasn't a baby big enough to accomodate it..... that it decided to terminate and abort my pregnancy (and this is when my waters broke.... when i thought i'd wet the bed)! Not too sure tho..... i might sound clued on at the moment, but i'm really just numb & although i sound as though i might be onto something with that thought, i've just had time to think & it's basically all that's been running through my head for the past 7 days. :yawn:

I will finish now though, as you're probably all asleep anyhow, but i do hope that this post has helped some of you & that some can relate to it & also i hope that some of you can give me some guidance or some answers in some form :confused:

Thanks for reading/listening and hope to hear from you all soon :wave:
Hi:

I'm so very sorry for you loss.

I'm wondering if you requested an autopsy on the baby and testing on the placenta. I know it all sounds kind of terrible but in reality, it would give you answers that might help the next time you try to get pregnant.

I had a very late loss at 34 wks although my daughter died in utero at 33 wks. She was also much smaller than the size of a normal 34 wks pregnancy. Her size was closer to what you would expect to see in a pregnancy of around 28 wks.

I had IUGR (interuterine growth retardation) due to blood clots in the placenta. You did say that you had to have a blood clot removed when they did a D&C to remove the placenta so you might want to question that in your pregnancy. The blood clots can cause reduced nutrients to the placenta which in turn cause retarded growth levels in the baby. It's possible that your baby only died quite recently but was small in size due to the blood clot inhibiting the nutrients that reached her.

I hope you can find answers that will bring you some peace.

Take care.
Like you my baby died at 13wks 6days gestation, but I was supposed to be farther along 16+ wks. And like you I had no signs of an impending m/c. I was also showing and growing. I even had morning sickess up until the day after my D&C.I never found out the sex via ultrasound but after the baby was born I found she was a girl. I had a feelig she would be.

I never had any bleeding or spotting my entire pregancy. I had two other m/c before this one and they were so differ. I had terrible cramps, lower back pain and bleeding. No D&C with those. So with this last baby I thought I was in the safe for sure. It wasn't until I went in for a routine check for HB listening that none was found .....when we had just heard it a few wks earlier. I new then what the outcome would be. And sure enough baby showed no HB and unmoving on the monitor. I was so numb and in shock as well. I didn't even cry for a while. I couldn't. I bascially just sat and stared. I had a weekend to prepare for surgery with baby to say goodbye to it in me. It felt so surreal. I didn't really show emotion till I came too after surgery and asked if my baby came out okay. Then reality set in.

Its been two months and I am still having a hard time dealing with this. I have good days and bad ones. You will as well.

I too wonder why with this one my body didn't know that the baby had died. Its called a missed misscarriage. Only in retropect do I wonder about something that happened around the time the baby had died. I delt with constipation for a long time all through the entire preg. But two differ days I all of a sudden had the worst gastric cramps like I needed to go diarrhea but I was pretty clogged up so it was just a lot of painful cramps. Im sorry to be gross and graphic. Its interesting but when that happened I had a nagging feeling that wasnt normal I even did some google searches to ease my mind, but no blood and still preg symptoms.. so I thought I was fine. I truly believe that was when my baby was dieing.

Feel free to chat on here with us and to vent if need be. I tend to write reallly long blogs as well. Take care and hope you find some answers.--Jess
Hi jo905,

Thanks for your kind words & advice & also sorry to hear about your losses also!

Sorry it's taken me a little while to reply, however i had a great response to my post & wanted to reply to all who wrote me individually :) It's actually harder than i thought to reply to everyone, as i feel as though i'm not keeping up with them, however.... Guys if you're reading this..... i am getting to you!!! I haven't forgotten :dizzy:

I hadn't yet felt my baby move, as this was my first pregnancy & they say you may not feel any movement with your first up until about 19 or 20 weeks anyway, so i was quite upset about that, as that could have been a good indicator for me when my baby did die. Like you said though.... it's very possible that they do shrink after they die, cos i know my DR told me that mine appeared to have shrunk a little bit from his view on the ultrasound screen, but he was basically saying that it had died earlier (at approx 13 weeks) and had probably shrunk over time as it began to break down. I saw her after i'd passed her though & she didn't look as though she'd been dead for 4 or 5 weeks..... & i questioned with my doctor whether the amniotic fluid (which had only burst the day of her birth), would keep them somewhat preserved, & he said that inside the womb, babies decompose & breakdown at a different rate to humans that are exposed to the air in the outside world and therefore although she may not have looked quite as though she's been dead for that long.... that it's most likely that she had!!!

The DR also said my baby was even quite small for a baby of 13 weeks, but they allowed for the shrinking & they measure gestation by the baby's foot size which i guess doesn't change much, even if shrinking of the body begins first. Atleast you have a round about idea for yours, but i have only what the DR has told me & i find it sooo hard to believe!

I keep trying to think of things that happened around that 13 week time & whether certain things could have been when my baby was dying! (such as what i thought was just indigestion..... or when i had some stomach discomfort which made me feel like diarrhea was coming on & i ended up vomiting & nothing else.... no diarrhea!) I thought this was just related to the fact that i hadn't eaten much all day & all i had eaten were brazil nuts & a bottle of water.

The weird thing was though, that when i vomited, it was 2 days before my 12 week NT scan when everything appeared fine. However i do wonder whether that was the start of it, because on that last scan at 12 weeks, the doctor couldn't get the baby to wake up so she kept asking me to cough and also asked me to let out more urine in order to wake her up to measure the space behind the baby's neck (for down's syndrome). I did this & when i returned she had woken up but didn't appear happy at all. She was bouncing around in there like she was really agitated!!! I asked if this was normal and whether she can harm herself doing that, and the doctor said they have a lot of cushioning in the womb & the doctor didn't appear to be disturbed or concerned about it.... so i just thought it was normal & put it down to my baby being grumpy that i had woken her :angel:

But in your case.... you're the best judge of whether your baby was still alive cos as you said.... you felt him kicking.... & then 2 days had passed with nothing!!! Sounds as though you're right :)

I finally understand what they mean by missed miscarriage aswell now, as i thought that meant that you miscarried without realising that you're even pregnant.... like an early miss or whatever they call it. I know that on my referral for my D&C the DR had written that i'd had an incomplete miscarriage, (although i hadn't passed any products of conception at the time.... only blood..... & my waters had broken), however this is what was written on there and i've read things since that say that an incomplete miscarriage is when you pass the baby or fetal tissue & have to have a D&C afterwards to remove the other products of conception because they didn't pass with the fetus.

So i hadn't yet passed the baby or any fetal tissue & it was still referred to as an incomplete miscarriage. I guess he knows what he's talking about though & it probably is referred to as that, as it was still not complete when i was referred. Perhaps he didn't write on there that it was a missed miscarriage, as mine wasn't completely missed because i was bleeding and my waters had broken.... which are both huge signs that something is wrong :confused:

I 'll have to check with him at my next appt in a weeks time, as i'm stil unsure, & questions like that still need answering.... even if they seem small in comparison to the rest of what we're dealing with. I mean...... some people will say "A miscarriage is a miscarriage! Does it really matter about the technical side of things". But it does to a lot of us, & it definately weighs on our minds :yawn:

Anyhow... better keep moving. Thanks for your help.... it's been useful!!!

Take care & all the best to you too:wave:
I'm so sorry to hear you've lost a little one! I also found out at 17wks that my baby had died. I chose to wait two weeks to see if my body would pass the baby on it's own but it didn't happen.

My dr wanted to do a D&E (suction) but I said absolutely not since I wanted to see my baby (I had seen him on ultrasound knew he was about the size of a 14-15 weeker).

I was induced at 19wks and delivered a boy (Asher Nathaniel). We declined the exam and autopsy so that we could take him home and bury him close to us.

I have never regretted seeing my little one either. I have a friend who is a professional photographer and she came and took pictures for us to remember him by (even at that very early age he looked just like my husband).

Less than a year later (and after 2 more early losses) we found that yet another of our babies had died at 13wks. We had heard the heartbeat with the doppler the day before he died (it was 139). I just felt something was wrong so had my midwife listen for the heartbeat the following day and there was nothing; an u/s confirmed it. I again waited two weeks to see if things would start up on their own but they didn't. I was induced at 15wks and delivered another little boy (Joash Paul). We brought him home and buried him next to his brother.

All together we've had 7 losses. It's been a very difficult road since there have been no answers for us. I have had a variety of testing done and it has largely come back normal (I have thyroid antibodies). My dr has theories about why I might have been miscarrying but no definite conclusions.

To offer you some hope, I am now 24wks pg and things seem to be going very well (5 of my losses were since my last full term baby was born; between Nov. 2004 and Dec. 2005...the other two losses were in Aug. 2000 and Aug. 2002). I was put on Prometrium (progesterone supplement) right after I ovulated and stayed on it until 12wks gestation. I'm also on thyroid replacement hormone.

Even with this new baby on the way I ache for my babies we've lost. I've only recently allowed myself to become excited about this pg since I had feared being disappointed again. It's a lot of hurt and sometimes it seems like it'll never stop (I'm not sure if it every does go completely away).

We've decided to plant a rose garden where our babies are buried and a dear friend of mine gave us a beautiful tree to plant in memory of them.

My SIL paints family trees and when she did ours she incorporated the initials of all our "heavenly babies" subtely into the vines. It means a lot to me that she recognized their precious lives (we named even the babies we didn't know the gender of because although we never saw them or held them they are part of us).

My heart is with you! I pray you'll be blessed again soon with a healthy pg and a healthy sweet pea!

Love and Prayers, Kelly
numb one I too think constantly about what I did wrong even stupid things like was it because I drank too much coke was it because I went up a ladder little things like that really bother me dont know why supose its coz theyve never said why they know how my babies died but for me thats not enough
anyway hope you are keeping well remember grieving is a very long process.

Also to wrmasylum yes they should have let you see your baby if that is what you wanted my last one was 15 weeks and Ive got photos of him and got to hold him. Maybe you should think about making a complaint, although there are things about how the situation happened that bothered me at the time I think you are so shocked and numb you dont realsie until after that things could have happened differently, I know at my hospital it is standard practice to photograph babies that are lost maybe they would have a copy somewhere? best of luck to you also

numbone and pradasweets wishing you both all the best





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:00 AM.





© 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!