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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

[FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="3"]As you can tell I'm new here, and really never thought I'd need to be here... But I am in need of some support and don't know where else to go.

I found out I was pregnant only 5 days after conception (according to my Dr.) and when I went to get a test done at my family Dr. he said my HcG levels were very low, and to expect a miscarriage by the weekend. I was shocked and horrified at the prospect of all of this. We weren't even trying to get pregnant and now the baby is going to die?? So I went in two days later and my HcG levels had quadrupled, everything, according to the Dr., was on schedule now and that I was obviously just very early pregnant. We went to the OB the following Monday and they did some blood work and tests and things. Then they scheduled an ultrasound for 2 weeks later. We went in and there was our little baby, heartbeat and all. They gave me a due date and told me everything looked wonderful. The following week I had some light spotting so I called the Dr. but since it was afterhours she just told me not to worry unless I had cramps or if the blood was bright red. So I went to bed not really too concerned. I woke up the next morning and there was a large amount of blood on my underwear, so I called the Dr. right away, I went in they did an ultrasound and told us the baby's heartrate was only 75. I was crushed. They only gave us a 40/60 chance that the baby would live, and told us what to expect if I started to miscarry. I started some heavier bleeding this past Monday and started having horrible cramps and passing clots on Tuesday. We went in again on Wednesday and they confirmed that our baby had died. Then they told me I needed a D&C because my body had not passed everything. I just had that yesterday.

Sorry that this is so long, but I'm trying to wrap my mind around all of this and I'm hoping that "talking" about it will help me. I was doing pretty good, we had a week to prepare for it, and yesterday I was so out of it I didn't think about it much. Then today I got a Christmas card from my Aunt saying how excited they were about the baby. I just lost it. I'm just dreading any more cards or letters from my family, as I live 600 miles away from most of them, and they may not know yet. I don't feel very Merry right now and don't want people to expect me to get into the Christmas spirit. I'm hoping someone has some good advice on how to handle the holidays. I just don't know how I'll get through them... Thanks for listening.

You'll notice my name says Happy7, that was for last week when I was i the chat rooms for expectant Moms for Aug. Yesterday I went for my 2nd ultrasound at 9 weeks. 2 weeks ago I went for one and there was a heart beat and I started to let meself get excited. Yesterday, there was no more growth and the heartneat was gone.

The worst part is I haven't miscarried yet. But it's either going to happen in the next few days or I have to go to the hospital for a procedure. I'm just hoping that it happens on it's own. I don't want to go through that.

Yesterday I went into depression and feeling really sorry for myself (it took me 3 years to get pregnant) this morning I am still sad, but also angry. Why me? All me firends are having kids and none of them had any problems (not that I would wish it on them, ever) but it just seems so unfair that I have the problem. I'm here b/c I know I'm not the only one going thrr this and to get a better prespective and to have some hope that one day we will have a Baby. I hope it doesn't take too long cause I'm 37 and feel worried about that.
Thanks for reading.

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