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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

I am so sorry for your loss. I have just joined this board looking for ppl who know what I am going thru and yours was the first I read. I know how very hard it is to experience a loss of something that you did not even know you wanted in the first place.
I got preg last July and was thrilled bcs we knew we would be done having kids. It was our fouth so we were trying. I started bleeding like seven weeks into it and was told to go to the ER for a VUS...we seen the hb so they said al was good. We were out of state at the time so I was not at my doc's. We we got back home I made an appt and went in to another VUS and by that time I was a little over eight weeks....well to our suprise there were two sacs...OMG twins! I was scared and thrilled..always thought I would be the one to have them in my family...its a time bomb anyway for them to show up again. So I was put on strict bed rest for a week and then back for another US. I did all I was told to do and the bleeding just would not stop. I went back for my next US and there was no sign of the second baby. I was heartbroken and crushed to say the least. My doc told me and I started crying..he said oh did you want twins...did not set out to have them but once I knew I wanted both my babies.

Luckily I went on to have a healthy baby girl. I am being treated for PPD and there have been times that it has been hard. Today being Christmas has been tough. I just keep thinking why couldnt my other baby be here with us.? Ppl just don't know why I am sad bcs I got a healthy baby out of it. I still lost a child and it still hurts. I do feel guilty sometimes bcs I did have a happy ending and alot of ppl dont but I try not to compare. A loss is a loss.

I can only tell you to take it one day at a time and do whatever you have to to get threw it or deal with the loss. I hung up a stocking for our precious little one that is not here with seemed to have helped.

Keep talking to ppl and God bless,

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