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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

Pregogirl (and any others reading this post)--I am so sorry for your losses. I will not say the words that I heard continuously after my, "all things happen for a reason", "it's for the best", etc...I know people mean well when they say things like that, but, simply saying, I'm so sorry and adding no "buts" to it, helps so much more. So, having said that, I'm so sorry. A few things to say...first, grieve your losses. Please. Don't just pretend they didn't exist or that it wasn't "real" or that it isn't a big deal. Are you married? If so, please TALK to your husband...about how you FEEL. And, keep on talking...even if he gets sick of it...keep talking. It's important. Here is my story:
I lost 4 babies within a period of 2 years. Guess I should back up...I had my first child at age complications...other than a csection after 2 days of labor---he was 12 lbs, 24". HUGE baby...I was not diabetic...just a big baby. That was in 95. Got preg again in 97...made it to 12 weeks and lost the baby...I was devastated. Never occured to me that I would have a problem since I had one healthy baby. Got preg again 4 months later, lost it at 9 weeks. I was overwhelmed and depressed...and sooooo sooooo sad. I'm a strong woman and I find it difficult to talk to anyone...including my hubby. I internalize. Got preg again 3 months later, lost it at 6 weeks. Now, I'm out of mind. Finally able to get referred to a perinatogist...who was awesome. (why obs make women wait until they have 3 mcs before doing the tests to figure out beyond me!) Had all the tests...everything was preg again (used Clomid to help with getting preg and maintaining for the first few weeks)...dr monitored me closely...saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks...everything seemed fine. Lost this one at 11 weeks. Determined that I needed progesterone. Why they didn't give it to me earlier, I don't know. Anyway, after that, I really walked around in a depressed, so afraid because I couldn't, just couldn't risk losing another baby. Found out I was preg a couple of weeks later. Fortunately, went to the perinatologist and he agreed to deliver me. Put me on progesterone and had ultrasounds every 2 weeks. Delivered a healthy baby boy, via c-section, at 38 weeks...10lbs 13 oz, 22". My family was complete. That was in 99. Then, in 2005, found out I was preg again. NOT PLANNED. And I delivered a healthy baby GIRL via csection at 38 weeks. I have 3 precious children and I am truly blessed. My hubby and I have been married for 13 yrs and honestly, I told you all those things before about talking because I internalized so much of that period and ended up so ANGRY at him and RESENTFUL and it ate away at us...our relationship was on the brink of divorce. We went to counseling in 2000 and it all came out...he was a typical man and just didn't understand my profound sense of loss. What it meant. I'm not saying he was uncaring, but he just avoided ever talking about and really just pretended all was wasn't.

A very happy ending to this story, but mc can cause serious marital problems...especially multiple mcs. So, please talk about it. OK? And, don't be afraid to keep trying...and, by the way, ask for progesterone levels to be checked immediately and if they are low, ask for suppositories to use during the first trimester.

Sorry for the ramble...feel free to ask any specific questions and I'll share what I know. Hang in IS worth it.

Hugs to you and everyone.

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