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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

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Hi Dee,

I'm really glad that you are able to vent & express your feelings openly. That's what we all need to do & never worry about rambling too much, cos we all do it & if there was a penalty for it.... i'd be broke :D

With your waters breaking & there being blood, i know that when my waters broke while i was aleep, i didn't really look at the colour of it as i was so unsuspecting that i was miscarrying & i put it down to a bed wetting accident (which i did think was unusual, but thought the baby may have been pressing on my bladder). So when i hopped out of the shower, i noticed a drop of blood at my feet & that's when i realised i was bleeding, & when i stripped the bed, the liquid that i had expelled from my waters breaking just looked clear, however the next day when i was washing my sheets & cleaning my underlay, i noticed it did have a pinky coloured tinge to it which i didn't notice the night before when i had stripped the bed! So your blood that you saw with your waters breaking could well have just been normal & your body expelled both at the same time, whereas with me, it seemed that it was mainly my waters at first, followed by blood a couple of minutes later, (by this time i was out of bed already).

It's still a good idea to ask your Obstetrician on your follow up appointment though just to make sure, cos it could have also been that there was a hemorrage from your placenta which caused the miscarriage. You never know until you get your results back. With my results they all came back normal & they noted a small rupture on the placenta, however they said that this was caused as a result of the miscarriage... not the cause of the miscarriage!!! Hope that makes sense! So that was a bit of a relief, although no answers is a bit frustrating & worrying, (but i guess with no obvious cause, it is easier to put it down to chance & hope that it was just a one-off). Did your POC (Products of Conception) get sent away to be tested??? If so, hopefully the results will give you some indication as to whether it was just a natural cause or not?

Isn't it strange how when something like this happens, people around us start coming out of the woodwork with the same experiences & we didn't even know about it. People who we see nearly every day & they held it all inside them & wore a social mask to mask their pain!!!

When i miscarried, so many people (i could count 10 off hand) came out & told me that they had the same thing happen to them & although it is comforting to know that you are not the only one experiencing this.... it is also scary to think that it is sooo common & when i think about that, i am just so afraid, that with those statistics it could well happen again. But on the other hand, i try to think positively & tell myself that i have had my heartache & next time everything will be fine. I know to well though, that it isn't always just a one off & that it can happen 2 or maybe 3 times & that kills me! To read about the other lady's stories who have experienced this more than once is heartbreaking & i truly hope that they can all get their faith back & heal properly!

I too hope that you can get past the immense pain that you are feeling now, but remember you have to grieve properly to be able to do that & although i found it hard to cry & for some reason felt like i had to be strong for others & hold them while they cried for me..... somehow i made it through & i'm not saying that i have completely come to terms with what has happened, but more that i have accepted that it has, and i realise that life has to go on & i want to begin another new life inside of me....... one that will help me even more with my healing process..... without forgetting my little angel Caitlyn :angel:

My husband & i waited for my first normal cycle to come & go (because my OB advised us that this would minimise the chances of another miscarriage), & then we started trying again, so i am basically due now for my 2nd period since my D& C & i am not sure what to expect really. Because i was on the contracetive pill for 6 years before trying to fall pregnant the first time, i wasn't really sure of my cycle length because while i was on the pill, it was spot on by the packet, so it's hard to determine whether i am late or not!!! Since going off the pill, it took me 4 & a half months to fall pregant (with Caitlyn), & that's because my body was getting back into it's own swing of things & my cycle length was changing every month :confused:

The first cycle before falling with Caitlyn was 32 days, then the next was 36 days & then the next one didn't come because i was pregnant...... so as you can see, i'm definately not regular & at the moment i am on day 35 of my cycle, so going by my cycle length before i fell pregnant the first time, i am still within normal cycle length & could still be possibly getting my period within the next couple of days..... i hope not though ;)

I wasn't sure whether to wait one or two cycles before trying to fall pregnant again, as there was no right advise (everyone's opinions were different), & although some people say to leave it 2 cycles before trying again, i sooo desperately wanted another baby to help me fill that void & help with the healing process, so we started after the first cycle.... & i felt ready emotionally at this time also! So if i don't get him/her this time, i guess there is next month & to me if it doesn't happen this time around, then it's probably because my body knows that it needed more time to heal & prepare itself for another pregnancy.... a healthy pregnancy :D

I found comfort in an article i read that said "Sometimes our bodies are not ready physically to follow through with a full-term pregancy, therefore they sometimes need a trial run". Not sure if you will find that same comfort, but i did ;)

Just remember that there is no right or wrong way/time frame to grieve & your pain is still very raw! My best advise to you is to keep talking about it to people you can open up to, & most of all.... talk to your husband about it! I know when my husband & i lost Caitlyn, i talked to him about it so many times a day for about 1 week :confused: I didn't want him to feel as though he couldn't ask me questions & i wanted him to feel comfortable talking about it rather than doing the man thing & not talking about it for fear of upsetting me. Talking about it with him helped me tremendously cos we discussed what we wanted to name her, what we would do with her ashes (not too sure anymore though.... still in the decision making process) & what questions to ask my OB when i had my follow up appointment etc. I think he felt relief that i was initiating conversations & i guess this helped him out a bit because then he didn't have to feel uneasy about broaching the subject.

Well anyhow i'll let you go now & i hope you CAN find your way to a stronger, more positive place within yourself (And you WILL), but first you need to grieve your loss & you seem as though you are doing that ;) You've taken this step anyway & you're talking to us, so keep your chin up & all the best for you in your future. I truly hope your path ahead is blessed.

With love & warm hugs, Crystal xoxoxox :wave:

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