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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


A big long (((HUG))) to you. As I write this I am having tears running down my face as I have not been having a very good day. I am impressed by the strength you are showing under such heart wrenching circumstances just make sure you give yourself time to grieve. I don't know if it was my post you read about losing a baby at 17 weeks due to incompetent cervix or not but I know how you are feeling. It is so hard to give birth to a baby that you know isn't going to live or has already died, they take a part of you with when they go. I agree with you that it nice that your baby can be buried by other babies. Our son Dylan will be buried in the spring 4 feet away from his brother Shawn who we lost 3 years ago. Dylan was also born in a Catholic Hospital so they did not baptise him but did bless him.

I am so glad you and your husband spent time with your son, Jack, it is so hard to hold that little body when you so desperately want it back inside your womb. I am forever grateful for the time I had with my boys. I don't know what kind of support you are getting from friends and family but there are a lot of great resources online and within your community. Most hospitals have some sort of grief support group, I going to attend one this time, I really need because I have been really having a hard time going through the grieving process this time and I think sharing in person with other women who know what I'm talking about can only help. We also sent out announcements for Shawn and Dylan to friends and family to let people know that they existed, were loved, and will be missed terribly. Some people might think sending an announcement of a babies death is morbid, well they can jump in a lake, whatever you and your family decide to do to help you heal from this loss, do it. I have started putting together scrap books and shadow boxes for each of Shawn and Dylan's things and hope it helps me heal. You are probaby still in shock from just recently going through this, so take your time going through this.

I am so glad you also have two boys at home to love! It can be a double edged sword though when you look at your sons faces and wonder why they got to be here and why your Jack won't grow up too. I wish I had some brilliant answer to make sense of it, I don't. All I can say is that I am so very sorry and that you are in my thoughts and prayers. It will get better too, as lousy as I feel I do have good moments now and I know that over time it will continue to get better. If only I could see you in person I would love to give you a hug while we both cry, and if you feel like it, cry, it does help to get it out.

I have rambled on enough, take care of yourself and be kind to yourself in your thoughts as well. Love and hugs!!!! Susie

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