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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

I honestly think that it's different for everyone.
I have known some lady friends that had miscarriages and they seemed to get over it like nothing.
A couple of them have even said that they were happy now that things turned out they way they did.

As for me I have had 4 miscarriages in the past. I am a 32 yr old mother of 3 beautiful children, 2 boys aged 12 and 9 and a gorgeous 3 yr old daughter.

I have DEALT with my miscarriages but I never got "over" them!
The worst for me was when I miscarried twins, at the beginning of that pregnancy I was pregnant with triplets but at the second month I went for a follow up ultrasound only to find that one of the babies had been "absorbed".

That I still dont completely understand but I was still happy and relieved to find that I was still carrying 2 babies.
Well one month later just over 14 weeks I miscarried the other two babies.
What made it worse was that it occured one day before my birthday and ended up having a D/C the next day.
Yes I had the surgery done on my birthday!!

So that for me was SOOO hard! I was so proud and happy to be expecting multiples only to have my hopes and dreams squashed!

I think the thing that a lot of people who have not experienced this is that they do not realize how emotional it all is.
They are not the ones who rubbed thier tummies in expectation, hope, wonder, pride, anticipation and excitement at the wonder of the new life growing within them.
So they do not realize the impact it has on a person to have it taken away so abruptly and with all the pain and suffering that comes with it.

In all honestly I also felt embarrassed and felt like I wasnt "good" enough somehow. That I must have done something wrong for this to happen, I felt so much anger, guilt, sorrow and loss that I just did not know how to deal with it for the longest time.
At the same time I did not want sympathy.
I did not want to see anyone, be around anyone because I did not want to deal with the questions. "Hows the pregnancy going?" to " how are you doing?' and the "I am so sorrys".

I could almost write a whole book on this (lol) but I know I have made my post long enough already.
I just wanted to say that I understand what you must have gone through and that there is no time limit to how long it should take to accept what has happened.

I think the most important thing that I wanted to say to you is this.
You do not have to "get over it", you must simply "deal with it" the best way you know how so you can finally find acceptance and peace with the experience.

I also want you to know that I ACKNOWLEDGE your little one in heaven, and I hope that he/she is happy and joyful.
As mothers we do have something to look forward to at the end of our days...
being reunited with our little angels in heaven!!

God be with you!!

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