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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


I'm sorry Emma. I can't imagine how hard it would be to have a hard time getting pregnant, to focus so many years on that and put in so much money towards having one and then the baby dies. THAT would tear me apart inside. You have every single right to feel the way you do. Try to ignore what people tell you when they say to move on and don't feel guilty for grieving either. How are you expected to heal emotionally if you don't have the proper time to do so.

I can definatly relate to the pain and sadness you are experiencing after the loss. I have lost 3 babies. The last one I was 4 months and the other 2 were earlier on at 9 wks and 7 wks. The thing with us is we get pregnant very easily...you could say my husband does his end of the work, but for unknown reasons my body (I) does/do not. I am 23yrs old and healthy as far as every test shows. We have been married for over 2 yrs. Initially, we had planned to wait for at least 2 yrs before a family, but 6 months into the marriage I found out I was preg and just as fast I found out I lost it. It awoke a new feeling inside of me. My husband at one time used the word "obsessed". Me obsessed? I am NOT obsessed to have a baby. I did not have these strong maternal instincts to bare a child in highschool. I have these feelings because for a short time I tasted a little part of motherhood and I feel more strongly than anything else that that is what I am meant to do. Everytime I lose a baby, the hope of having one of my own gets farther and farther out of reach. That is a big part of my sadness. And not so much the loss of the baby because I believe I will see all 3 babies someday and I truly do believe this has happened for a reason. My sadness is mourning the loss of motherhood in the now.

Emma, no matter what anyone tells you, grieve as long as you want and Don't feel guilty for doing so.

I am pregnant yet again with #4. I have not told anyone and I decided I am not even going to the pregancy board. I did last time and I wrote stuff and then I had to tell them I lost the baby and I just don't want to jinx myself. No one around me will know till well...I look really pregnant.

Take care Emma, I feel your pain, Jessica





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