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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

Missed miscarriage
Apr 8, 2007
Hi, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here but I recently suffered a miscarriage and just wanted somewhere to write about it and hopefully share similar experiences with other women. My husband and I have a beautiful, healthy 3 year old daughter and we'd been trying to conceive again for over a year, with no luck (i have polysistic ovaries). Finally, I fell pregnant in January and we were so thrilled. Initially I suffered a bit of morning sickness (just didn't feel the best, no vomiting), then the sore boobs set in and the tiredness. However, I felt very scared this time around - scared something bad would happen, always checking for blood when I went to the toilet etc. We saw our little baby on an ultrasound at 7 weeks and 1 day, then I finally felt a bit more relieved and allowed myself to get excited about the possibility of having another baby, and giving my daughter the brother or sister I know she'd love. As the weeks went by I felt great (still had sore boobs and was tired) but I remember saying to a few people that I felt almost TOO good. I asked friends who have miscarried if I'd know if something was wrong with the baby, if i'd know if the baby had died. I think subconsciously I must have known something wasn't right. They all said 'yeah of course'. The weeks went by and at 11 weeks I was happy that I was nearly at the 12 week mark, which would have made me feel alot safer (even though I know it's still possible to miscarry after 12 weeks). We told all our friends/family and they were very excited for us. I was into my 11th week and it was a Wednesday night when my daughter woke me up from a bad dream at 2.00am. She was crying hysterically and told me that she'd had a dream about a ghost. I tried to calm her down with cuddles and kisses, then about 10 seconds later I felt a trickle down my leg. I looked down and it was blood. I went to the toilet and there was lots of blood. I rang the emergency department at a nearby hospital and they told me that as long as there wasn't bad cramping it should be ok (it's common to bleed in pregnancy they said). They suggested I get some rest and see how things are the next morning. But I knew something wasn't right, even though they said it was common to bleed during pregnancy, I knew I shouldn't be bleeding this much, and I knew the blood shouldn't have been this red if it was 'normal'!! I eventually went back to bed and when I woke up there hadn't been anymore bleeding. However, when I woke up and started getting my daughters breakfast ready the bleeding started again. To cut a very long story short, I was taken to hospital and an ultrasound revealed that my baby was dead, and had in fact died about 3 weeks earlier at 8 weeks old. A missed miscarriage they called it. So for three weeks I thought I was carrying a healthy baby, but in fact I wasn't. The pain of my miscarriage was so severe, and the amount of blood I lost was ridiculous - eventually needing a d & c. I felt really empty and lost for a few days, and I did alot of crying. We told our daughter that the baby was very sick and had died, and was now in heaven with nanna and pop. She cuddles me and says 'its ok mummy, you can try again another day'. She has been great, keeping me busy and smiling which is what I need. Initially I felt like I let my husband and daughter down and I know it's not my fault, that there's nothing I could have done to prevent it, but it's hard not to think that way at times when it happens in your own body. It's been over a week now since the miscarriage and I'm starting to feel confident that I will eventually have another child when the time is right, but I'm worried that I'm 34 and not getting any younger. Anyway, I just wanted to write down my thoughts and feelings, and would love to hear from people who have been through similar experiences. Thanks for listening.

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