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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

[FONT="Arial"]Hello to all. I stumbled upon this board today and am glad that I did -- I'm just looking to lean on a support system at the moment and found all of you wonderful women.

My husband and I have been married for just over 4 years. We're both in our 40s (I'm 41, he's 46) and neither of us have children from previous relationships. We started trying to have a baby about 2 years ago and didn't have much luck until last fall. We were so excited to find out we were pregnant! Everything was going along great -- I was the lucky one who did not suffer any morning sickness, felt a little run down but nothing too bad. Then I went to my regularly scheduled appointment one day and we did an ultrasound and there was no more baby -- one of those weird things where my body absorbed the baby back. My doctor performed a D&C and we began to grieve. We started trying again as soon as we could.

April 14th was our due date, which I got through with just a few tears. Still no luck on conceiving again - then last Wednesday (convinced I was NOT pregnant) I started feeling a little 'off'. I was nauseous, but didn't throw up, had a headache and was light headed. Thursday the nausea continued, and so I decided to do a pregnancy test -- POSITIVE! We were cautiously elated and Friday I called my doctor to set up my first appointment. By my calculations I was about 5-6 weeks pregnant, so my appointment isn't scheduled until 2 weeks from now.

Saturday my world began to fall out from under me. We were at my boss' house for dinner when I began to feel cramping and thought I was beginning to bleed. Upon excusing myself to the restroom, my fears were confirmed and I had started to bleed - not a lot, so I still had hope.

Since Saturday, the bleeding has turned from light to quite heavy, and the cramping continued through last night. I am pretty certain that we have again, lost this child. My doctor isn't back in the office until Wednesday, but I don't see any reason to try to see anyone else, it seems nature is taking care of it on its own.

I know that at my age I need to expect a higher likelihood of miscarriage and that it doesn't mean that every attempt at pregnancy would produce the same result. But right this moment, I don't feel like that's the case. I feel like this is my destiny - that I am never going to successfully carry a child to term. I want so much to be a mother and to experience pregnancy. I know that I will be a mother, even if it is by adoption -- I'm perfectly fine with that; but I want to experience pregnancy and the total miracle.

As I sit here typing, I feel my body shedding the current pregnancy, and I feel myself filling the void with hopelessness and sadness. Looking to hear of others having the same experience / track record -- and hopefully hearing some encouraging stories of success after such disappointment.[/COLOR][/FONT]
Hello Hoping in WI,

Sorry for your loss. I understand you completely. I have experienced 2 miscarriages. 2nd one earlier this year. I am 38 years and everything that you are saying I have felt as well. I think at our ages it is a process that we go through. Look at the bright side you know your body works because you can get pregnant. So there is hope for a future baby. I too am considering adopting but like you I want to experience pregnancy and birth and having one of my own...

Please take you time to grieve and see your dr in case in may need a d&C even though you feel like it is taking care of itself..

Continue to take care of your body and we will see each other on the pregnancy boards...

take care
Thank you for your post, Cupcake. It already feels better just knowing there is someone else out there feeling the same things; I'm not so screwed up afterall.

Hoping in WI

Very sorry to read about your losses. :( I recommend you go ahead and see your doctor as scheduled. Not for prenatal care, of course, but for a discussion on things you can do if/when you decide to proceed with another pregnancy. Since you are over forty, your progesterone levels are probably less than optimal and it may take something as simple as progesterone supplements following ovulation to help your body along that first trimester. The fact that you can GET pregnant is VERY VERY good. With a little support medically (as well as psychologically from your dh, friends and family), I would say your chances are pretty good for a future pregnancy.

Take care of yourself!!!!

I'm sorry for your loss. I know the feelings of loosing a child that you want so much. All four of my m/cs have been in my 20s but even so the pain of it the loss--I know. I had to have a surgery to remove a 'stem' in my uterus before I could have any children. Ask your dr for any abnormalities with your uterus.
My heart really breaks for you. Oh, how I know that pain so well. My first 3 pregnancies ended in loss around 4-5 weeks. I just couldn't ever get one to stick. I saw 2 different specialists, had the whole battery of tests run, and could never really find anything conclusive. We began doing some fertlity treatments last fall (even though I got pg easily, she thought the treatments would help me create a stronger embryo.) Well, couldn't get pg with treatments, and was beginning to get concerned that I would never get pg again. I was starting to lose faith that I'd ever be a mom. We were just about to start a different, more expensive group of meds when I became pg on a natural, non-medicated cycle. I panicked, as my success rate for pregnancies on my own was 0%. Well, I am 6 wks pg, and saw a heartbeat for the first time ever today. Now I know I still have a long long road ahead, and nobody knows more than me that I am not guaranteed a baby at the end of this, but I know in my heart that we have made it over the major hurdle for us-implantation. So don't lose heart my dear, miracles do happen.

-believe :angel:
Thanks ibelieve - Thanks to all!

I just went for my first set of labs on Thursday and haven't heard the results yet. I had a D&C with my last m/c, and didn't have to go through the labs. So I don't know how quickly or slowly the hCG will be depleted in my body, but I certainly hope it will be quick! I'm ready to move forward and try again.

I just want you to know that I am so grateful to have found this board and all of you -- I believe it is because I found you all that I am dealing better with this m/c. Thank you all!

Hoping in WI :wave:

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