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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


Hi Ladies,

I posted the below on the pg board, but since not everyone on there has had a m/c (I have gotten some really supportive, and helpful replies, and thank you!!), I thought I'd try here.

I could really use some advice and support right now. I'm supposed to be 12 wks and 2 days pg today based on my ultrasound that I had 4/23 (13 weeks if you go by LMP). Everything was going along fine (no morning sickness, only mild fatigue, really the only way I knew I was pg is the 3 missed periods I've had, and of course the positive pg test went I was only 4wks from my LMP). My HCG numbers (had them taken twice) were good, my progesterone was low (was only tested after I requested it), so I was put on Prometrium 1 pill, 4 times a day (total of 400mg). So far so good right? Should mention, though, for those that don't remember, I am 40, and had a m/c back in November at about 8 weeks, and am battling possible gestational diabetes.

Until Tuesday night, I had not had any kind of spotting/bleeding or cramping with this pg. Well, Tuesday night, around 9pm I went to the bathroom and went to pull my pants down, I saw 2 reddish spots of blood on my underwear, about the size of nickels. Well, I panicked and called the answering service of my OB. Got a call back from the Dr. on call. He told me if the bleeding got heavier or I had clots, to call him back. Well, thankfully, the bleeding remained light overnight, and I had only minor cramping and no clots.

So, when my Dr's office opened the next day, I called right away, and they told me to come in for an internal exam and fetal doppler. So, my husband and I went in. Dr. used the fetal doppler, for the longest time all you could hear was static and the occasional swoosh sound (the placenta?). Then you could hear (all 3 of us heard it) what sounded like a hb. So, the Dr. moved the instrument around my lower abdomen for a while, then she grabbed my wrist as if to see if it was my hb she was picking up. She then mumbled what sounded like, "looks like we found mommy". She didn't say much (I know she can't as she has to listen closely), but kept moving the instrument. When she gets all done, she tells us she got the hb (of the baby I'm assuming) but it kept moving around, and at this point (12 wks) it's 50-50 as to being able to hear accurately the hb.

Next she did the internal (said she saw old blood, and it didn't look like alot). Said sometimes bleeding occurs at this time as the placenta is forming/taking over, and that it wasn't all that uncommon. She did want us to go for an US, just to check on things. So, we left with script in hand.

Fast foward to that evening. I started cramping (like I was getting my period) and the bleeding was getting slightly heavier. Woke up at 2:30 am, and could tell the pad I had on was flooded. So I rushed to the bathroom, pulled down my pants (sorry TMI coming up) and something slid into the toilet. Unfortunately, didn't get a look at it, it happened so fast. Was scared, and woke up my husband. Tried to clean myself up, took a shower, and called the answering service. Got a different doctor from the previous night. Didn't want to go to the ER, even though I was bleeding pretty heavily and cramping pretty bad (like a bad period). She told me it was my decision if I wanted to go to the ER, and that if I could wait it out (it was after 3:30 in the morning by now), I should call my office first thing in the morning. Told me I could take advil for my cramps, and we hung up.

Went to sleep around 4:45, and woke up around 7:30. Was still bleeding pretty heavily, but not as bad as before. CAlled my Dr.'s office as soon as it opened. Nurse I was talking to passed along what I had told her to the Dr. that was standing nearby, and are you ready for this, Dr. wasn't even sure I m/c!!! Said it could have been from the internal exam!! What, are you kidding me!! They didn't even want to see me. Said to monitor the bleeding during the day, rest, feet up, lots of liquids, etc. and to call back in the afternoon to update them as to how I was doing.

Well, I called back around 1:30, and talked to the same nurse. She said she bounced my case to some of the other nurse's and they all AGREED, it didn't sound like a m/c!!! She said if it was a M/C, I would be bleeding for days and days, and would be filling up a pad per hour!!! (Which I'm not doing, I'm still bleeding and cramping, but not filling up a pad per hour).

MY QUESTION TO ALL OF YOU IS: HOW CAN THEY MAKE A DIAGNOSIS OF ME OVER THE PHONE!! I mean, they didn't even say to come in. You think they'd want to at least try to do the doppler again. I have an US (which will tell the story) scheduled for Tues (I wanted my husband there, and that is the first time he could make it, besides they had no openings on Monday).

I'm about 90% sure I've m/c, and if I would have seen what dropped into the toilet, I'd probably be around 95% sure. Can you ladies, those that have had the misfortune to m/c naturally (my first m/c I had a D&E done before the bleeding could start), tell me your symptoms please. And please be honest(someone has to be, I almost get the feeling the office is covering for the Dr. that did the fetal doppler, how else do you explain a hb, and then less than 12 hours later, a m/c?), does it sound like I've m/c?

Sorry this is so long. I hope all of you are doing better than me right now. I'm an emotional wreck. I start to cry (as if it's over, and I've m/c), then I say, "keep your chin up", maybe there is still a chance. I guess I'll know for sure on Tuesday - which seems to be a lifetime away right now.
Babyforus,

Firstly, my thoughts & prayers are with you & DH & i hope that there is some other reason for the bleeding.

Secondly.... i hate the way that Drs & OBs always relate miscarriage to painful cramps & A LOT of red blood, because as many of us who have experienced a miscarriage know.... this is not always the case!

I had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks & my baby had actually died between 12 & 13 weeks, however i was oblivious to this until i hit 17 weeks & one morning i woke up early morning (about 4am) to a wet bed. (Which i thought at the time i had wet the bed accidentally due to the pressure from the baby on my bladder).... however i thought it was a bit strange that i hadn't woken up to go to the toilet, because usually i'm a very light sleeper & wake up 3 or 4 times during the night to pee.

Anyhow..... in saying that, i didn't think anymore of it (because i didn't think there could have been anything else it could have been) & i had a shower & when i got out & grabbed my towel, i noticed a drop of browny coloured blood drip onto the bath mat & then when i wiped there was a little more (still brownish), so i put a pad on & went back to bed & woke in the morning & rechecked my pad. By this time my pad had a fair bit more blood in it, however it was still a brownish colour & looked as though it was watered down kind of :confused: (In hindsight i now know that it looked watered down because it was mixed with amniotic fluid, but at the time i sisn't give it a second thought).

So with this, i called my local hospital & the staff in the maternity ward said that they would check me with a doppler & to come in asap. When i arrived, i waited about 45 mins & then i was taken through to a room by the nurse & she checked for my baby's heartbeat using the fetal doppler. She said to me (and this made me feel sick to my stomach after everything had sunk in & i wasn't sooo numb.... which was about 2 or 3 days later), that "Wow.... you either have a very athletic baby or a very active bowel", & she continued to say the same as what yours told you..... "There you go, i think i just had it, but your baby's moving around too much so i can't get it properly". I too couldn't hear much going on inside & all i could hear was my own heartbeat slightly & also just the occasional gurgling sound...... like just my stomach doing it's job! SO anyhow, i told her i was not convinced & with this, she asked another nurse to have a go with the doppler & see what she thought.

This nurse said the same thing about that my baby was moving around too fast for her to get a proper indication, however she said that she was quite sure that she had & that with the small bleed that i had experienced & the fact that i had no cramping or abdominal discomfort.... that i was fine to go home. (I know that nurses aren't allowed to tell you that you have miscarried.... but if they are unsure or without really obvious 100% sureness, i don't think they should say anything at all..... especially not things that are designed to raise your hopes (about my "very athletic baby".... becasue they found out later that my "very athletic baby" wasn't moving at all.... because she had died weeks earlier) & then set you up for a lorger fall in the long run. They just shouldn't have said anything at all.

She then told me that she would call the Dr on duty & just double check that it was ok for me to go home (which i was going to protest, because i just knew something wasn't right... i had the gut feeling), & then it turned out that 3 other women (all pregnant) needed to see the same OB who just so happened to be mine aswell, so they didn't bother calling the Dr on duty, they just called my OB & mentioned there was 4 women all needing advise.... so he just said to stay put for 10 mins & he'd be there shortly, so that's what i did.

He turned up & saw 2 of the other ladies infront of me because they were there first & during that time i went to the toilet maybe twice just to keep an eye on what blood i was losing & by this time it had turned red, however it was not just running out of me & soaking my pad. Infact, there was nothing, but a couple of spots of brown blood from earlier that day in my pad & it was only when i sat on the toilet, that the red blood dripped (but not much at all.... a couple of drops per wee & a bit of a smear on the toilet paper).

So then when i got to see my OB, he was very patient as always & tracked down the ultrasound machine which the nurses are not allowed/not trained to use & he talked to me about my symptoms.... not seeming too worried at this point because i'd had spotting at 6, 8 & 10 weeks & he thought that this might just be another one of those. Anyway i mentioned to him how i had wet the bed & that's when it occurred to me that it may not have been urine & that it could have been amniotic fluid! I asked him the question whether it could be & he asked whether it smelt sweet & whether it was coloured in any way, but i couldn't answer this because when it happened i just stripped the bed straight away, not even thinking anything like that.... so i wasn't sure.

When he was scanning my tummy, he kept looking at the screen funny & angling his head etc & i could just tell by the way that he was quiet & his expressions that something was wrong, so i looked at the screen & saw my baby laying on it's side & i said "Is that my baby" & he replied, "Yes, but it doesn't appear to have much fluid around it, & it's also looking very small for 17 weeks also". So then he confirmed there was no heartbeat & also did an internal & said my uterus was quite low & talked to DH & i for a bit & then gave us a minute to ourselves while he checked the availability of beds in another hospital about an hours drive away. He said that it would probably be best to have the D&C done sooner rather than later for my own sake & to save me having to go the weekend with my baby inside me, so we agreed & went & packed my overnight bag & set off to the other hospital.

When we arrived at the hospital, we were walking through the doors & i felt something pass into my underwear (there was no pain whatsoever) so i asked the triage nurse if i could borrow the toilet & told her what had happened & she took me through. So when i checked my knickers, there was my baby (sorry if TMI or if this is disturbing to anyone) & i picked her up with a tissue (i felt a slight pull.... like the umbilical cord possibly coming disattached) & placed her in a container to have her tested etc. The nurses then did swabs & then sent me up to my room where i waited to go into surgery & that happened about midnight. I didn't have any ill-effects after my surgery & i recovered physically very quickly..... however emotionally took some time for both DH & i :yawn:

Anyhow... long story short. I had NO cramping at all & i had a miscarriage! I also had only spots of brown blood & a couple of red spots & i miscarried! So you should take these responses from people on these boards to your OBs office & show them so that we can build their awareness on these issues...... the ones that they are suppose to be trained & qualified to know!!! It just really gets to me that they won't see you asap :mad: I know that if a miscarriage has happened that there is nothing they can do about it..... but they don't realise that leaving us without any confirmation & letting us just dwell on it hurts us sooo much!!! All they need to do is give us the answer we need & then we can deal with it in whatever way is necessary, but they just think that if there's nothing that they can do.... then we're best off at home! The best thing they CAN do is let us know.... one way or the other :confused:

Anyhow..... please know that my thoughts are with you & DH & i'm sorry if my post has frightened you in any way, that was not my intention..... i just wanted to be honest like you asked! This, by no means..... means that i think that you may be experiencing a miscarriage, because i cannot say that one way or the other, however i do know that any bleeding & especially accompanied by cramps SHOULD be taken seriously by your OB.

I am praying for you all & your baby ;)

Best wishes, Crystal xoxoxox





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