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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


Hello

I am so sorry for your loss and heartbreak. I could write so much but am at work and need to keep this short. This is similar to what happened to me except my doctor never admitted fault. My baby died at 36 weeks, 5 lbs 5 oz. Issues were slowing of movement and it never getting checked and gestational diabetes, swelling and exessive weight gain and never having any tests or ultrasounds ordered. never was even told to keep a kick count chart. The movement slowed around 31 or 32 weeks. then i began having labor symptoms very severe and was told to take a tylenol and a shower and lie down. I did, and that night he moved around desperately, little did I know he was dying. The next morning no movement but he had a heartbeat in the doctors office . Finally some non stress tests showing no movement and weak heartbeat. Emergency C-section and he was born blue and non responsive they could not resusitate they tried for an hour. My first born and much awaited baby boy was gone forever.

We tried to sue. We talked about it but waited too long. There is a 2 year statute of limitations here. The lawyers thought we may have had a case but didn't have enough time to investigate. I feel my doctors killed my child and of course I also blame myself for being so trusting and not speaking out more.

Whatever you do, get new doctors. Do not even give these people a second chance to screw up. We moved to a new town to be near a hospital with excellent reputation for high risk pregnancies. They did great and I now have a wonderful happy baby boy who is 13 months old. I was put on heparin shots during my pregnancy and monitored very closely.

Oh yeah, my baby's cause of death was "unknown" The autopsy showed a healthy baby. However the pathology showed the placenta had shown signs there may have been some oxygen deprivation (sometimes shows in placentas of women with diabetes) so I feel in my heart that even if he had made it, he may have suffered brain damage or cerebral palsy. That I think would have been worse, in my case. However if the doctors had listened to me the first time I told them baby wasn't moving as much as I thought he should and they did a non stress back then, I believe he could have been saved. I hate those doctors. And I will never forgive myself either.

People tell me I am too over protective of my second baby and dont trust others to care for him at daycare. OH WELL! I will never truly trust anyone again after that.

I hope you can find some healing and hope. You WILL have another baby and it will heal some of the wounds. But please please get a new doctor and if at all possible consider suing, not for the money but to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. Too many doctors take a "women have been having babies for millions of years relax" approach. They don't listen to us or take our concerns seriuosly.

Good luck and YES it absolutely does get better, with time.





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