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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


Wow, I am so, so, so sorry to hear of your terrible loss.:( Especially since the bleeding stopped and you had that little ray of hope. It's an awful feeling. I will be praying for you and your wife. You did say that you had a gut feeling that the news might be bad, and I think the gut feeling is almost always right. That's what happened with me too--almost from the time I found out I was pregnant, I had a bad and worried feeling, that I couldn't shake. And then when the spotting began I knew, but was in denial until we found out for certain.
Did the doctor sound sure that the baby isn't alive anymore? Or did he just say that he couldn't locate the heartbeat? I guess it's possible that maybe due to the position of the baby or something he could find it, but I think because your wife was getting close to the second trimester, if he couldn't find it, it's probably because there isn't one. Did he give you any indication of what you should do next? Normally the doctors will give you some sort of information on what they will do to get the fetus out of her uterus--it can't be left in there for too long, and there's nothing you can do at this point. Maybe they are just waiting for the miscarriage to finish on it's own. If nothing has been done by the time she has the other ultrasound done, ask the doctor about doing a d&c, or if he thinks that's the best route to go. This is basically a procedure in which the doctor will dilate the cervix, and gently scrape the walls of the uterus to remove all the tissue. Then the miscarriage will be complete at least. But if he has reason to believe that the miscarriage will be carried out soon enough on it's own, he may leave you both just to wait for it to occur naturally.
Let us know how everything else goes with the doctors, and with your wife. Again, I am so sorry this happened to you--if there's any advice I can offer it's to not blame yourselves, whatever you do--miscarriage normally happens because something wasn't right from the very beginning and it's just the body's way of taking care of the situation. The baby most likely never would've made it a full pregnancy, and so having it happen this early is probably a blessing in disguise.

Whiskers :angel:





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