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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


Oh, that's great that you've got other children. It helped me that we had our four year old when this happened. That's just terrible what happened to you at the hospital too!!! Did they at least cover Aidan up? Things are so different between hospitals, that's for sure. In my pregnancy, I just started having labor pains one morning in the beginning of my 20th week, so I went to the hospital. They did monitors, ultrasounds, and tests, and the baby was "fine." I could feel him moving the entire time. I asked the doctor to give me the drugs that stop labor and he told me that it was too early.... even if I held on to my pregnancy, we would never make it to term. I told him "That's probably okay because my four-year-old was two months premature with absolutely NO complications, so maybe this baby will be okay too if I can just hang on to him for a few more weeks." I was refused the treatment even though I offered to sign whatever papers they put in front of me. Honestly, you have more rights aborting a baby than trying to save one.... it boggled my mind. I remained hospitalized and in labor for 36 hours before Eric was "born." Doctors and nurses avoided my room, and right when I was being wheeled into delivery, a social worker showed up to see if I needed any "help." Yeah, right. The doctor told us he would prolapse the cord before the baby was delivered and that way he would have expired inside the womb... which would be easier for us to deal with. Well, he didn't even do that right because we could see Eric's little heart beating for the hour he was with us. He was clinically "alive." I did hold him but don't remember much... lots of drugs and grief. I asked the hospital staff to take pictures and they acted like they'd never heard of such a request. The pictures are very blurry and I have looked at them exactly twice in fifteen years. It's such a personal choice but I felt like I had no other control at that point, so I insisted. The hospital sent me home with the blanket they covered Eric with.... a handmade crocheted blanket. It was pretty, but....??? THEN on Christmas Eve day I received a bill from the hospital for $4,000, not covered by insurance. When I called the insurance company, they told me I received the bill because I hadn't registered my son. Thankfully, the represetative was a very kind gentleman who sounded very moved by my story and told me not to worry; he would take care of it... and he did. Those were the darkest days of my life..... Luckily I had a little boy at home who needed me and was dealing with his own grief. He had a tough time in preschool and the teachers worked with us to help him. Poor little Michael thought he'd caused problems for the baby because he always sat on my lap. I'm telling you if I hadn't been so focused on staying strong for Michael and my husband, I'd have gone off the deep end. You wonder why things like this happen. The doctors found out the clinical reason for me years later.... it seems I have lupus and it affected my reproductive system. As far as any spiritual or religious reasons for this, I'm still waiting for the answer.

Wow, I can't believe how helpful it is to have written down this story during the week our son should've turned fifteen. I still miss him.





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