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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

Re: Miscarriage
Apr 18, 2008

I am sorry for your pain and loss. I know what you mean about the feeling like you let people down, guilt thing. Our firstborn son was stillborn at 36 weeks almost full term. Besides all of the horrible feelings of sorrow and dispair, I also felt my body had failed and I had let down my husband, who is adopted and was waiting in much anticipation to meet his first blood relative! Also, for his parents it was their long awaited first grandchild. And all the people who threw me showers and spent money on us, etc etc. It is crazy that in a time of grief we can stil worry about others feelings. The good news for me was we did go on to have a wonderful baby boy a year later who is 19 months old now and has just been a wonderful and life changing experience. And our son looks just like my husband. We will never forget our first and the pain and hurt is always there. My suggestion is to be proactive about your health, get some testing done to make sure there is not a specific reason this happened. In many cases it is a fluke and never happens again, but I also know people who had specific reasons for having miscarriages. Many doctors won't even test you until you have had more than one!
Things will get better and you will have a wonderful baby. Don't give up hope there are many people who have lost a baby and went on to raise a whole bunch. good luck

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