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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

Hey everyone, I'm new to all this. I've been searching and searching for answers, for someone to talk to. I'm so confused.. I have had a missed miscarriage.. so my doctor says. The baby is still inside me.. She's coming out tomorrow morning. I don't know where to start with everything, I'm so angry.. but yet so sad.. I'm confused.. I read all these posts.. and alot of you talk about hcg levels... my doctor never checked anything like that.. let alone tell me what they are.. I'm only 20 years old, i don't know ANYTHING about being pregnant.. all i know is i wanted this baby... more than anything.. I found out i was pregnant on April 1st.. The best day of my life.. my family was excited.. my boyfriend was excited... Between April 1st and today.. i have been to see my doctor 4 times. You would think they would be like prenatal check ups.. atleast 2 of those times... the 2nd time after the pregnancy test he did a pap.. which is normal.. that was prolli the only normal doctor visit.. well my pap came back abnormal and while this was going on my doctor was in Africa on vacation so i had to wait to see him.. and when i did see him it was time for my next prenatal check up. he checked out my cervix and listened to the heartbeat and that was IT... And he only checked my cervix to see if i had cancer.. which thank god was a negative. well anyways.. i talk to all my friends who are just now pregnant or have newborns.. and they talk about how all their doctors were different and did different tests, and i dunno.. im confused.. did my doctor even care about me and my pregnancy.. I just want my baby to be healthy and alive.. I made so many plans... She was spose to be a Thanksgiving baby.. and everyone was SO excited for her... or he, i actually don't know the sex.. but i don't feel comfortable calling her an It. Hopefully someone can give me an answer to my confusion.. maybe its normal.. i dunno.. and.. how does this dnc thing go?? he didn't explain ANYTHING to me... he just told me to be at the hospital at 630 tomorrow morning.. i didn't even know it was called a d&c until someone asked me if thats what im doing.. I'm sorry this is so long... i have so many questions.. and i appreciate all of you who read this all.. i blabber.. but i just don't know what to do with myself..
Thank you girls for all you support... My D&C was yesterday.. it went well.. i actually ended up in the hospital at 3AM cause of the pain and bleeding.. but the procedure went well.. i remember crying as i drifted off and i actually haven't cried yet. I am accepting that my baby is in a better place. In heaven with her great grandma.. The sent the tissue to Mayo Clinic so next time i go see my doctor i will find out why this all happened, i'll find out the sex.. so.. i dunno if finding out the sex will be good on me.. but i just really need to know what happen.. i don't want to get pregnant again and have to go through this a 2nd time... or 3rd time.. I know a lady who has been through this 6 times in a row.. and 7th was a stillborn.. i couldn't imagine what she has gone through..

Today is the day after the D&C.. and i actually have no pain.. no cramping.. just a bad headache.. i spose its stress from everything.. but.. its been a tough road..

I'm still angry at my doctor for not watching the pregnancy closer.. but even if he did this still coulda happened... And im angry at all those people who take pregnancy for granted and drink and smoke crack during there pregnancy and STILL have a healthy baby.. when i didn't do ANYTHING to put my baby in harms way.. and i still can't have her.. (sorry.. just had to get it out)

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