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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

No it shouldn't happen to anyone but it does and it happened to me. In April of last year i took a HPT and was so excited about having a kid. I went to the doctor the next week and was prescribed some vitamins. after that it all seemed so real. I was bleeding very very light and a little, i was talking to a friend of mine that was about 5 months pg and she was telling me that if i saw a sign of blood that i should see a doctor. I was so scared at this point and with in the next 20 to 30minutes i started bleeding heavier like a normal period almost. My BF and i went to the ER that same night about 11pm and the wait was terribly long. I didnt get to a room until about 4am. Over those hours by it being cold i started cramping up and bleeding more but it was never soo so much blood so i really thought that things would be fine. I went to the bathroom and it passed through i never looked at it but i cried right there on the spot. After cleaning up i went back to the waiting room i wasnt to kill the nurse that finally called me back. For hours i had bad cramps and i had a pap and they told me my cervix was closed after another few hours i had a u/s and they saw no baby and just some clots. I held my feelings in for a while and back in the room my BF and i talked for a while about it. that was hard by the way it was like i was pregnant and then it was taken away. I never got to see how far along i was. I never knew if it was a boy or gurl thats what ate me up inside.

In the morning i was discharged and had bad cramps all day. I was in bed so miserable with pain emotionally and physically. I think i got over it a little quick because i convinced myself that with starting a new job and just getting my first car and my bf and i about to move we were not even ready for a baby. So i think it was the lords way of maybe giving me another year to live my life without having to worry about being fit to spend enough time and money on a baby. But who knows maybe i want to feel this way to keep the pain locked up and from coming back again. I wouldnt wish this on anyone and i am very sorry for your lost. Im not going to tell you to get over or forget it because like myself i dont think anyone ever will.

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