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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

At work, i have a collegue with quite a depressing miscarriage story, and i am not entirely sure its true, and wanted to find out as much information as possible as its a re-occuring issue almost every day, and it doesnt seem to make sense.
A few weeks ago she told me she had completed 3 pregnancy tests and they were all negative, the past few days she has told me she has been bleeding immensly, and already assumed she was having a miscarriage. This Monday gone she was off work, and the tuesday morning she told me in her words a huge blood clot came out like the size of a marrow. And told me the hospital had given her permission to take it to the hospital when she had tests on thursday, and has told me the doctors have examined it and told her she miscarried twins. She has also told another collegue she had a scan and they told her it was twins, bearing in mind she couldnt have been that far gone, as she is quite petite and i would have noticed around work and wouldnt have showed properly on a scan untill the first 3month scan. I am deffiantely convinced the hospital would not let somebody take in a blood clot especailly when there is sick patients around, and not knowing whether she may have a blood disease and infect the hospital. Also how they can determine it was twins, but not find out how far gone she was, she told me she didnt want to know how far gone she was, but usually we were on our period around the same time, so i know she couldnt have been that far gone?!?
I am quite upset as my aunty gave birth to a dead child and that was a very heatbreaking story, and i will not be impressed if i find out this is made up.
My collegue has told me she cant have kids after her first, but it seems so frustrating that if that was the case she shouldnt have allowed herself to get pregnant. Or the doctors would have sterilised her to prevent this ever happening. She has been at work and she has told me she has been bleeding and hasnt been popping to the toilet, like id think if she was stilll micarrying.Also on the tuesday night after the blood clot came out, she joined us for a chinese as one of our work collegues was leaving, surely you would be in too much pain to allow yourself out the house.
I know from past experiences, if you was to miscarry, the tests would be showing positive due to the hormones in your body. Im finding it hard to be around her, as it is quite depressing and i find it very sick if this story is made up.
I dont know whether she wants sympathy or she has a mental issue , but to me it doesnt make sense!!
Please help as its quite a concerning issue to me and my collegues, and i feel like flipping at her, but im not enitierly sure on facts to all of this, and if her story is true, but to me as sick as it may sound how could u keep such a large blood clot from tuesday untill thursday.
I will not be very happy with her if this is a lie, as there is alot of people out there who cant even get the oppurtunity to have children, and she doesnt deserve the one she has if thats the case!!
Please help and i am very sorry to those who have miscarried and have to read this, my heart is with you as much as its breaking listening to this story.
I think it sounds "made up" but I guess you never know. If she is looking for attention and she already has 1 child thank god she is lieing about the whole miscarriage thing and not harming her child. I have known a few ladies that always say that they are pregnant and they always have miscarriages. they lie. in my case i did actually have 7 miscarriages before i went to a fertility specialist and figured out my problem and now i am 3 month pregnant. I can assure you that "NONE" of my docs or my hospital had said that i can bring in a clot. Clots are not the baby anyway so i dont know how they determined that it was twins. 6 of my miscarriages never had a clot bigger than a dime as they were in the first 2 months i did carry one to 5 months and i had 2 clots that were big. but it wasent the baby. I personally think she is a looney!! It is very heart breaking to hear that someone would make up such a horrible story. Just tell her that if she has a problem then she needs to see a specialist. I feel bad for you and your co-workers that you have to listen to her and her gross encounters with clots. When the few ladies that i know talk about being pregnant and having miscarriages i just say oh i'm sorry and try to drop it. I dont carry on conversations with them. cause they are looney!! best of luck to you and please let me know how it turns out. oh and you can also tell her to let you see her paperwork from the hospital and that you have a friend that knows about all that stuff and maybe she can help her......if she dont bring the papers in you know she was lieing!! mandy
I say it is made up. I lost five babies, two was twins at 18 weeks pg. First if she was pg with twins, the pg tests would of def been +. (you have more hcg with twins) even if the twins passed it would still be +, it takes awhile for twins hcg levels to drop. No, you cant tell it was twins by a blood clot. As far as bringing in the clot, that is doughtful. As far as u/s scan, my twins showed up perfectly at the 8 1/2 week scan. They even gave me pictures. Her story sure doesnt sound right to me,,,,,,,,,,
Hey,thankyou for your reply and i am really sorry to hear about your miscarriages, and congratulations on your pregnacy.
I guess it is made up, and i knew that a baby wouldnt be in a clot, i dont know if she thinks were stupid or what!!, But its all very suspicious as i cant tihnk of any reason possible as to what you would gain for making up such a thing, it is very sick.! I have seen her in a few days so im hoping it isnt brought up again. My mom is my boss and she has said if it comes out its a lie she will have a talk with her, near enough this time last year i fell pregnant and went through a horrible experience of an abortion and the guilt and hurt i had from that is horrible for me, and for someone to make up such a story hurts especially when you have given up somethin as its the wrong time for you and wasnt planned, i am only 19 and i had to make a tough decision for the babies sake, as i really wasnt ready, and i have never let myself get in that situation again. So if my collegue cant have kids, then why let herself get in that situation again and go through the hurt, she should be extra extra careful if its true, not to mention the fact her daughter is 6, why has it took her this long to get sterilised if she has known she cant have kids!! Its very annoying!!!!!!!
Yes your reply is very true (mommyx5), especailly when i know myself the test would have shown up positive due to the hormones in her body. I know she is lieing but its impossible for me to bring it up aorund work, as i have know full evidence, but she has told alot of people at work and there all very sympathtic as she hasnt gone in to full detail like she has with me, she is 23 and im 19 i dont know whether she thinks i have a gullabull brain and belive u can tell what your carrying from a blood clot.!!! What can u do??
Also (mommyx5) i am really sorry to hear about your losses.
I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. It's not really up to us to judge what happened in someone's life. Wouldn't you feel bad if you called her on her supposed lie and it turned out to be true? I know you wouldn't want to add to her distress.

It's possible for a woman to be pregnant and have a light period, so it's could be that if she was pregnant, she might have been further along than you might think. Also, if the babies had died weeks ago and just not passed, that might account for the negative pregnancy tests.

As for clots and taking them to the hospital, many times doctors do have patients do this to be sure that there wasn't any tissue retained in the uterus which might cause an infection. I had two miscarriages early in my pregnancies and with both, I passed a fist sized "clot" that had ragged edges and which was actually encompassing the fetal sac. So, it's possible that what she described as a clot might have been the babies' amniotic sac(s). (And yes, they might have been able to see the babies if they were formed enough.)

In addition, if she passed the clot on Tuesday morning, I doubt she'd be still be in pain and unable to go out Tuesday night. Many women miscarry without any pain at all. I was actually at the flea market shopping with my mom when I lost one of my babies. I had been bleeding for several days and already knew I was miscarrying. I had gone to the bathroom at the flea market when the baby passed. I had no pain or discomfort before, during, or afterward. (I also gave birth to my daughter at 1:15 a.m. during a home birth and went to visit friends that evening.)

Again, please give this woman the benefit of the doubt. She may very well be lying, but then again, maybe not. You really have no way of knowing and you don't have enough proof to make a judgment one way or the other (nor is it your place to do so.) In any case, she'll probably stop talking about it soon anyway. Just be polite and it'll all blow over before you know it.
this story sounds familar, i remember back in college, there was a girl who lied a lot. And one of her stories was that,she was preg with twins. Then all of sudden, she said she miscarried. But we all believed it was a lie, a lot of the story and the timeline just didn't make sense.

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