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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

Wow, Steph, thanks. I am not trying to wish it away. I would like nothing more than to enjoy it, but how do you when you don't know the outcome? I feel like if I get attached, it will make it so much more difficult when the time comes to say goodbye. I know that if I just carry on as though I am not pregnant (taking care of myself, of course), but not start thinking of names, buying things, etc. that when it ends I will be sad, but pick myself back up quite easily. It sounds so rediculous because the one thing I want is to be pregnant. I wish I was a more spiritual person. I wish I believed in miracles and that this pregnancy is a miracle, but I am not at that stage yet. It is too early to expect anything. And the more it does (if it does), the more I am going to worry. I just don't know what else to do. I worry by nature. The statistics are not in my favour. He has 1 out of a million good sperm. The odds of this being real, and not a miscarriage, seem very low to me. However, I have decided that it is no good sitting around coming up with my own diagnosis. I want to hear this from my doctor, that it either probably will not stick...Or that it might. My husband is making me an appointment tomorrow when he goes to get his second round of semen analysis back.
I do not want to look back on things and realize that I had a horrible pregnancy when I could have enjoyed it all along. And trust me, if I ever feel stable enough to know things might just be o.k after all, I will let myself enjoy it body and soul. But thanks for your warning, I feel it is a very good one.


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