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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


Hello, I am writing this to see if anyone else has had the same experience as I have had and am wondering if anyone has been able to go on and have a healthy pregnancy.

I found out i was pregnant at 3 weeks; about 2 weeks later i started to bleed, so i brought myself to the hospital and found out i was having a misscarriage. I found out than as well that I had twins so one of them did not make it.

At about 19 weeks i went in for a check up to hear the babies heartbeat and my OB was not able to find it, so she sent me to Ultrasound where they examined and i had found out there was no fetal heart beat. They had told me that my baby measured at about 17 weeks, so the baby had been deceased inside me for 2 weeks. This was the worst day of my life. I was so emotional, my fiance and I were so excited to have our first child. So the same day they brought me into the office and talked with me ;my OB and a doctor, telling me that they will need to induce me and i will have to deliver my baby. This was so scary for me. That same night i went in around 6 oclock, they induced me at 9:30 p.m. and i did not have my baby until 6:00 A.m. the next morning. My fiance is a merchant marine so he is gone 6 months out of the year, three weeks on and three weeks off. I was so happy to have him there in the room with me and so thankful I did not have to go through it all on my own.

It has now been a week since i have delivered my baby and i cry at leaste once a day anytime i see a baby or someone who is pregnant. It is the worst feeling ever.

I have a follow up appointment in about a week so the doctor and I can talk about my test results and why this may have happened and all i can think about is that it was a genetic problem between me and my fiance and that we won't be able to have children together. I Love him with all my heart and him and I want children so bad i don't know what I would do if we were not able to have a healthy child together.

I have pictures of my baby and a video that the hospital made, Its wonderful i am so glad that they were able to do that for me. I look at the pictures and i watch the video all of the time. I pray every day/night that this will not happen again and that we will be able to carry a healthy child together. I will never forget about baby boy berube I Love him so much.
I just found out September 13th at my fetal ultra-sound to check my elevated Alpha Protein test and make sure our 19 week baby did not have spina bifida. I was not concerned as our first daughter had higher levels and they never she was born at 37 weeks completely healthy. I did wake up and when I went to the bathroom had some very light brown discharge. But I was not expecting to get to the ultra-sound and hear the lady tell me that the amniotic fluid was extremely low, I hadn't had any leaking of fluid. She was so busy checking the measurements of the baby and when I noticed her measure the leg bone at 16.5 weeks I stopped her and said, can you check the heart beat. There was no heart beat. They called the doctor in and confirmed no heart beat, no blood flow, and the brain was starting to sink. I was devastated. I was told I would need to go to the hospital within a week and be induced to deliver our baby. I didn't even find out the sex at that point. My husband and I went to the hospital the next morning, at 12pm I was given the first pill to induce labor. 4 hours later I was given the 2nd dose, by 6pm I decided I didn't want to "brave" through the contractions any longer and got the morphine drip, which did nothing to elevate the pain of the contractions, just makes you feel drowsy and out of it. At 8:07pm our Glory Angel Cruz was born weighing just 110 grams, measured 7 1/2 inches. He was absolutely perfect except he was very swollen around his neck. I had 24 vials of blood taken, they are doing a placenta biopsy, but all of these will take 12 weeks to get results. The nurse and attending OB think that he had so much room to move around and ended up twisting his cord severely, there were no knots but it's possible it was twisted enough he wasn't able to get enough from the placenta to survive. This is what I am hoping for as I had a completely healthy heartbeat at 16 weeks. It was at 146, now 3 weeks before it had been at 160 so maybe he was already declining, I don't know. I'm scared because this is our third loss in a row. I lost on in May 2009 at just 44 days pregnant, one in October 2009 at 8 weeks, and never thought I would experience one at 19 weeks, you think your totally safe once you get past 12 weeks! I disagree with the term miscarriage, I believe I had a stillborn baby. I'm upset that if it had been one week later, funeral arrangements are required, and more poor baby wouldn't be sitting in a morgue right now waiting for the medical examiner to determine his fetal age, when we already know he passed at 16.5-17 weeks. It could take 4-6 weeks for the funeral home to get his remains to be cremated! I don't get a death certificate because he wasn't 20 weeks.
But don't loose heart at having a healthy baby. My mother had the exact thing happen at 5 months and went on to conceive 6 months later and gave birth to my sister who now is a Mom herself. My husband and I have clung to making sure we glorify God in all of this. He has the ultimate plan, and while I don't understand right now why He decided to keep my Glory Angel, I know that something amazing will come out of our loss. We have decided to not try so hard to get pregnant again. I charted and took temperatures, timed ovulation, etc. for 17 months. With our son we seriously had a few glasses of wine one night and were like, lets have a baby, and we did. He is a healthy 2 years old. So I have to have faith that we can have the 4th child we long for to complete our family.





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