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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

How to mourn?
Dec 23, 2002
When I had my late miscarriage (16-18 weeks pregnant), the pregnancy was not really wanted, and at first all I felt was relieved. Lately, some time later, I find myself sad. I have a box with pictures of the baby, and a plaster imprint of his hands and feet. Last night when I went to bed, I took the plaster imprint with me so I could run my fingers over the tiny hands and I felt for the first time a profound sense of loss and grief over this baby. I think at first I was in shock, then hit by relief (we dont have to worry about what we want to do!) and now I feel more connected with that pregnancy than I ever did while pregnant. We gave the hospital permission to incinerate the remains, and decided against taking the body home for burial,and there is a part of me that wishes I could have the body back. I didnt hold my baby but we did look at him, and now I wish I could hold him and look at him again. I just have this wierd feeling like I want to hold on to the physical aspects of our baby, because it is like he was never here. Im glad I am feeling sad-its better than the denial I had for so long.

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