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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

ok i have a huge confession to make. I havent told anyone this before but it will make me feel so much better. I never talked to anyone about this and it really hurts. OK, last October 2001 I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I was so happy. My boyfriend and I had planned to get married and have a happy family. I went to my first prenatal app. They took blood and did a pap and everything and told me I was about 9 weeks pregnant. a week or two later my boyfriend and i had sex one night. A couple hours later around 1 or 2 in the morning I woke up with the worst pain in my stomach. The day before I was talking to my friend who had had a miscarrige and she told my all about hers and she said that I was doing so good with everything. Anyways I went to the bathroom fearing that I would see blood from what she explained from her miscarrige I knew i was having one. I went to the bathroom a I was bleeding. It was kinda just pouring out at first. All I saw was one little clot and it just looked like a reg clot. Well I called my midwife. And told her what had happedend. The first question she asked me was did you engage in any sexual activity tonight? I told her yes and she said that was probably what it was. She told me to take a warm bath, drink water and lay on your side. And if it feels worse go to the EM. So I did what I was told and went back to bed. I couldnt go to sleep because of the pain. I got up and I was still bleeding. So I went to the EM they took me right away. I was laying in a room for hours. ( I was on medicad) They finally came in and told me I had rh neg blood and gave me a shot. They didnt explain to me really what it was so Im still clueless. I laid in the room from 2 in the morning till 8 in the worst pain. Finally the came in and took me to get an altra sound. I got to see the baby it was as little as my pinky finger. She also checked its heart to see if it was still alive. And it was she said the heart sounded beutiful. She said everything was fine. I asked her why I was still bleeding then. She metioned something about twins. But she really didnt know. After that I was sent home and told I was having a threating miscarrige. I was told to call the midwife in a week. I told me mom and she was upset. She dosent like my boyfriend and didnt want me to be pregnant. She was scaring me saying well if the babys still alive and your still bleeding it could come out deformed. Everyone was scaring me telling me that the clot I had passes might have been an arm or something. I didnt know what to do. A week later I went back to the Midwife. I was still bleeding. She couldnt tell me why. So she did a blood test and told me to come back next week. Well I never came back. I was so scared of what everyone was telling me and I had been bleeding for 3 weeks thinking I'm going to bleed to death. No one will tell me anything. But every doctor says the baby still alive and it will be ok. My mom made me an app at an abortion clinic. I went while I was still bleeding. They did and ultra sound and said everything was detearerating. I saw the ultrasound and the baby grew from that 3 weeks. I went through with the abortion. Now that i have been looking up rh neg and miscarriges. It bothers me so bad that I dont know if the baby was really still alive? or if everything would have been ok. The problem was was that no one (Dr's) werent giving me an answer for anything. I was scared for my health. Should I feel bad? Did I do something bad? Sorry this is SOOOOOOO long. Just wanted to get it off my chest. I really needed to talk about it because I felt like no one cared. Thanks for reading this!!!

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