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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

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Still waiting
May 18, 2001
I was just wondering if anyone has been through this. I found out about 3 weeks ago that my pregnancy was no longer viable. I have been waiting to miscarry but have had no cramping or blood yet. The thing is that the fetus, according to the ultrasound, died at 9.4 weeks. That means it has been almost 8 weeks since the death. A woman told me the other day that her sister had the same thing happen. There was no heartbeat at the appointment, then the ultrasound showed that the fetus was not viable. This woman waited to miscarry on her own instead of getting a D&C. It turned out that she had a healthy baby several months later! I didn't want to get my hopes up, and havn't really. I was just wondering what exactly do they look for on an ultrasound that shows life? Can you clearly see the heart beating? What I saw didn't look alive. It was supposed to be 13 weeks, but measured only 9.4. Has anyone had this happen, where the pregnancy was determined not viable, but turned out to be?
My midwife said this does happen rarely, but she said they look mainly for symptoms of pregnancy in the mother. The strange thing is that my symptoms disappeared shortly, I think, but recently they reappeared. For instance, the bright blue veins on my breasts and abdomen are back. I feel fluttery movement where I would expect to. My uterus seems a tiny bit larger.
At this point I am hoping for an easy and complete miscarriage, although I doubt they are ever easy. I trust my midwives and the ultrasound technician, but I was just curious about this.
My midwives say it is actually preferable to the doctors for a woman to have a natural miscarriage rather than a D&C. I have my own belief about it too. So please don't anyone tell me I'm getting my hopes up while I'm waiting, and if I were to get a D&C, I would be able to get on with life. This is my life, and I choose to experience it, hopes, letdown, grief, and all. I don't mean to sound callace. I just want to make my stance clear before I read a lot of opinions on what I should do. I am just curious about this situation. Is it common for the fetus to remain inside for months before it is expelled? My midwives say that it depends on the woman's body. Sometimes it takes a long time, but they never say how long is too long.
Thank you for your input. I appreciate it.

Molly H
Re: Still waiting
May 19, 2001

You can see the heartbeat very early on a sonogram. I saw my baby's heartbeat at 9 weeks and the technician measured his heartbeats per minute.

I don't know what else to say about your situation as I have never been faced with the circumstances you are in. I've been through 2 miscarriages and they happened relatively fast. As you may recall the first one happened when I was experiencing heavy bleeding that wasn't normal for me when I do bleed heavily. I just had a feeling that this wasn't right for me. I went to the doctor and sure enough I was having a miscarriage. I knew I was pregnant for maybe 5 hours at the most. That was 2 years ago on the 21st of this month. My second miscarriage is the one I saw his heartbeat. I carried until I was 17.5 weeks along and then one night my water broke. I went to the hospital at 9 and at 3:55pm I delivered my son Dylan.

I can't begin to imagine what you must be going through. I worry about your health if indeed the pregnancy isn't viable and what it may be doing to your body. I can't think of how to ask what I want to ask without being forward. Please accept my apologies in advance if I offend you but I'm wondering what does your midwife say about carrying this baby around if your worst fears are true. Does this make you prone to infections because of carrying the baby or does/will your body respond like you are pregnant until it decides it is time to let nature take its course. Again, I didn't mean to offend you and I'm sorry if I did offend you but I am only trying to understand what you are going through.

As for the complete and easy miscarriage; you're right they are never easy. For the first one I did have to have a D&C and I probably should have had one after my second loss but I didn't. Had I not delivered the placenta when I did, I would have had one by my doctor's orders. I just wanted to grieve my loss and not prolong it any more than what was necessary.

Molly, I wish you peace in your life during this difficult time. You have sincerely been in my thoughts since I last wrote to you. I wish you the best but again, I also wish you peace. Take care.

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