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Multiple Sclerosis Message Board


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REM.
Hey. I have been really lax about keeping up on posts this week due to job issues- but have had time to answer your questions about other things...today, i read this, and i wanted to put my two cents in..
Dont tell. Anyone. Until you are ready.
Denial, frustration, even depression come with finding out you are Diagnosed. Its so common and normal to feel like you are feeling, its almost scary. Especially when you realize that 400,000 people in the US alone, have MS!
You need time to adjust to this...and start meds....and get yourself together. You will do that. I promise...and believe it or not, it wont take years, only a few months....when you are ready, youlll look back on this post and wonder what you were so stressed out about..but, until then....

Two things. YES you will be judged. People who are your "friends" will worry about you unnecessarily and unless you want to start educating EVERYONE you know about MS, youre going to get mighty tired of explaining why you "look fine" and " feel like crap" ! When you have dealt with this for a few months and you actually do feel better, think how interesting it will be when you say to someone.." Oh, that bruise? Its from my injections...i give myself shots....why? Because I have MS..." And then they say "but you look so healthy" and you say "yeah, most of the time I am pretty healthy!" And, with that, you either open up doors to what MS actually is.....and at this point, youll be able to talk about it without breaking down and crying.....or you can say "ive had this for a long time" and leave it at that....people DO NOT have to know anything. I changed jobs 3 months after my DX because at my old job...everyone knew I was seeing doctors, being hospitalized, trying to find out what was going on..and when I did tell them what was going on, they all acted so strangely that in 3 months, even when I was feeling better, they were watching me out of the corners of their eyes, waiting to see me trip, or rub my achey legs, anything out of the ordinary..when I was passed over for a promotion which I thought I had in the bag, and knew I had earned...it was time to leave..
I started a new job a month later...I never told them that I had MS until my first relapse! At that point, I told them (after being out for 4 days) that the doctors suspected I had MS....thats it. Then, about 2 months later, I told the few people who needed to know that YES I have MS...but I truly left the date of dx unexplained...and guess what? I have never had another relapse since then (yeah, Rebif) and Ive nver missed a day of work. My boss knows I have MS...but he sees me traveling all the time, all over the world, and never missing a beat...what he doesnt know is that when Im exhuasted and feel like Im about to drop, I pull off the road and take a cat nap...or I finish my day early and go home...and then work twice as hard the next day to see more clients...guess what? He doesnt care if I work 3 hours or 13- as long as sales dont drop! He doesnt ask...and we dont discuss....and thats the way I like it.
Suggestion: use us. Use us to vent to, ask questions of, and bounce things off of....also, if you can find a newly diagnosed support group in your area, thats really helpful...between us (your virtual support) and having people in your neck of the woods to actually talk to..youll get all the info, support and understanding you can handle...you wont feel pressured to talk to "those who dont understand"....when you are comfortable with this whole MS thing, youll know.
we understand.
Hugs,
Nikki





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