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Multiple Sclerosis Message Board

Multiple Sclerosis Board Index

I will apologize now for the anticipated length of this post. :)

Hi Nikki! I was hoping you'd post because believe me, I thought a lot about your job situation when I was thinking of bidding for this job. I've known of the possibility of this job opening up for a few months, and I've given it a lot of thought. I know it'll be a lot more stress than what I'm doing now, but it'll be nothing compared to my last job. I just feel that I can do so much more, that I can contribute more if I'm in a position to do so. I admit I am scared about what could happen if I do get this job, since I've been through it before.

The things that convinced me that I can do this is that I know the hours--it won't be sixty hours a week, the CEO is really a great guy who everyone, including his present assistant really gets along with, and this company is the least dysfunctional one I've ever worked at.

Despite the added responsibilities I'll have, I'll also have the opportunity to help a great deal of people in the community. I'll be in a position to not just improve the way the place operates in general, but to start up new programs for our severely mentally ill clients. This may sound corny, but I feel that since I have the experience and qualifications that would allow me to help people in need, and in effect, my community, it's my duty to try. Plus, even though I love my present job, I'm starting to get bored. I was appointed to some committees and I asked my boss to give me more work that's not in my job description, but it's not enough.

Nikki, I was worried because I hadn't heard from you. Your car got totalled...are you okay? With all the things you wrote about, I'm not surprised you're taking xanax--there were times when I was taking more than I would care to admit too. I hope you weren't injured in any way with the car accident and I hate that you had to come home from FLA early because of MS. I hope something changes for you or you catch a break; know that I think about you every day and I'm sending you good vibes.

THanks for the advice too about stress and MS; you're absolutely right. And what you said about Identity and jobs is so important. I still struggle with this, but not too much anymore. The whole experience with quitting my last job, the time I was off after, etc. taught me a lot about equating myself with my job. When my fatigue permits, I am still writing and rewriting my WWI book, I worked for two campaigns during election time, and I'm researching online schools now. I don't think I will ever base my sense of identity on a job ever again. I just want to be content, involved, and challenged just a little. MS kind of brought a very early midlife crisis on me. I'm doing anything I can that will make me happy. Nikki, your posts are mirrors, and you make everything easier for me to see. Thank you!

Libby, thanks for the well wishes, and you're right, I am pretty excited. I was extremely sick last night and this morning from my shot, so that dulled the excitement considerably. Last night I had bad chills again, which I call seizures. They lasted for four hours and I couldn't sleep since I couldn't stay still. I tried to pee forever but couldn't because it felt like my bladder was shaking too. I couldn't relax one muscle in my body, and today I am SORE as if I've been doing sit-ups constantly.

I'll be extremely disappointed if I don't get this job, but I won't be in despair. My current job is just fine too. I guess I'll know soon enough.

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