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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Board Index

Re: OCD & Disease
Oct 15, 2005
Hey, the more you worry over this the more you are GOING to get symptoms, its called pschosomatic i think, something like that anyway!!
I think because of ocd and your fear of hiv/aids because of it, you have remembered an incident years and years ago and because you dont remember exactly and clearly what happened because it was so long ago you are convincing yourself that the very worst happened then those thoughts upset you so you think about it more and eventually cinvince yourself you have it and the stress and worry over it can cause symptoms, especially when you look into symptoms of disease. I do it myself and i TRY to tell myself its all in the mind, for instance at the moment i am paranoid about my mouth since i keep 'feeling' weird things and pains and getting weird tastes and thinking it must be some disease and i can pass it onto other people so cannot breathe over them or share any drinks or food ever, and i know it sounds totally crazy and i KNOW its ocd causing it and i know its cos my mind is fixating on this but i cant seem to STOP thinking about it to stop the 'feelings' when i first wake up i am fine until i 'remember' that i shud be worrying about my mouth and then suddenly WHAM the weird feelings, pains or tastes miraculously appear again!! its SO annoying!!

I know I had a bit of an ocd hiv worrying relapse recently but i have managed to curb it again, im still a little worried but not obsessing over it or anything.
hiv fears which for years were my biggest worry and i would be imagining needles being stabbed into me at least once a day and on some occasions i would spend hours examining my body with mirrors for potential needle wounds and bleeding. sometimes i still freak out if i feel things but am no way as bad now as i was!!
I decided to stop researching news stories about needle stabbing and symptoms etc and decided to look at realistic figures to see how many people actually get hiv this way, and there are hardly any. What first made me realise it might not be so bad as i thought was there was a poster in the hospital where i used to work about how many needlestick injuroes occur each year and how many transmit hiv/hep b and the amount of transmissions from an ACTUAL hiv positive needlestick wound were really small compared to the amount of people being injured with them.
And these cases were all referring to injuries occurring in the healthcare industry where most people who sustain needlestick injuries have been treating that patient at the time, and therefore when they are injured the needle has only literally just come out of the patient and still has blood on it, and even in these cases the amount of people who get hiv are minimal. people are more likely to catch it if the needle was used in a deep vein and/or if the injury sustained is very deep also and if the needle used is a wider one. But all in all the transmission rates of catching hiv from a needle that has been used on a hiv person is 1 in 300.
I read that there has been extremely small cases transmitted if any at all of people being stabbed from an abandoned needle because its likely to have been there a while, the blood will mostly be dried and the injury sustained is most likely to not be deep, so when compared to people in health care getting an injury with fresh blood and STILL not being very likely to catch the disease the chances are very small.

I think, that if you WERE stabbed with a needle all those years ago then i think you would know about it because your knee more than likely would have been bleeding and probably bruised also! cos normally when you get injections they still often bleed and bruise even tho they are being done gently and carefully by a trained professional!
And also i cant even imagine the pain of someone stabbing me in the knee with something, if you were then surely you would of screamed out with the pain and also you would of looked at your knee if you felt a bad pain in it to see what it was and why it hurt so much!
He would of also had to of gotten REALLY close to you to be ABLE to stab you in your knee also!! Especially with him being a grown man and you being a kid at the time, why would he go for your knee with the height difference!
Even if you were ever stabbed with a needle, which i dont think you were cos im pretty sure you would have noticed the injury after feeling the pain in your knee, the chances of getting hiv are as small as mentioned above!
And after 15 years im sure you would definitely be having much more symptoms than you are experiencing at the moment and probably be getting sick very often and the doctor would of probably recommended you take a hiv test , not just for peace of mind, but for actual diagnosis or elimination purposes. I think your family and friends would probably also notice difference in your health too if you had been untreated for 15 years!
I think if you have been looking into hiv and aids symptoms so much then you will start convincing yourself that you should probably be having symptoms around now after 15 years and maybe thats why you are getting these problems.
Either way you should definitely go and see the doctor, just in case there ARE any other underlying problems that the symptoms could be caused by, and it is most likely NOT caused by hiv, there are soo many different ailments that can cause numerous symptoms but with ocd your mind seems to convince people that they must be caused by the thing they are most worried about. When i was in my bad hiv worrying phase i came down with something, my lymph nodes all overmy body were the size of golf balls, i was EXTREMLY fatigued and letherigc, to the point i could barely stand up for more than 10 minutes, i had really bad aches in all the joints of my body and pains in my chest, one night we went out with my friends and my bf (ex!!) and i was not enjoying myself at all and all i could do was collapse against my ex all night with the tiredness and i got myself convinced i must have hiv from years ago and this was all the symptoms showing up so i was so worried and was really upset, anyway i went home and my mum suggested glandualar fever, so i went and got examined and hada blood test but the nurse was like hmm it doesnt seem like glandular fever, go to your doctor, so by this time i was practically CERTAIN i had hiv, ten the doctor said it did seem like glandular fever and the next day i goy my blood test back and i DID have glandular fever!! and id been convinced all that time it was hiv as the symtoms were so similar from what i had been reading, but instead of assuming it could be anything else i jumped to my own conclusion based on my fears!
many symptoms CAN be caused psychosomatically (sp?!) but it is always best to go and check with a doctor anyway incase they are caused by something else or another illness but whatever you do DON'T assume that they are caused by hiv!
If you are really so so worried then i know it would be had to get a test done but you should go and speak to your doctor, or go to your local gum clinic or brook advisory centre if theres one near you cos they are soo good at reassuring you of the facts, and then you can decide if you want to take a test for peace of mind to stop the worrying. the people really are so nice and are happy for you to go in and chat if you are worried, and its soo much better to talk to someone that knows what they are talking about instead of reading stuff on the net and jumping to your own conclusions!! please try to stop worrying.. i know its easier said than done and i need to try and calm down as well!!
anyways i hope i have helped a little bit and not made you any more stressed or anything!! im always worried im gonna say something wrong and upset people more or something!! its the ocd that!! ;)
anyways i gotta go now lol friends are coming round soon and im not ready!! eek!!

xx Laura :)
Re: OCD & Disease
Oct 19, 2005
Hi addicted2u, welcome to the boards. Have you heard the stories about bird flu on the news? Well of course i have it and all the symptoms! I'm really bad with germs and illness too. In the news here in the UK recently it said something like 400,000 people have Hepatitis C and do not know about it, so of course i have got to be one of these people too. HIV is on my mind all day every day. The pregnancy thing has got me too, sometimes i have washed my hands before i have used the toilet at work as we share a communal toilet door with the men and dont want to touch myself with contaminated hands. The one thing i would not mind obsessing over is cleaning. Its strange how i worry about germs but i'm not obsessed with cleaning my own house. I dont know why, maybe its because i know the house is full of my own germs and you can never get away from them. My boyfriend would also be happy if i cleaned more!

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