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Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Message Board

Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Board Index

Hi JB,

I'm new to this board and just wanted to let you know that I am in the same exact boat you are. I have always had normal paps until October 2005 when I found out that I have HPV. I was scared, worried, angry, you name it. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster ever since I found out I have not just the virus, but the dysplasia as well.

My biopsy in November showed that I had CIN2/CIN3. I had the LEEP in January 2006. The pathology report showed clear margin but a range of dysplasia from CIN1-CIN3. Then I played the waiting game for 4 months until my follow up last month. I had such high hopes that I could beat this thing since I'm otherwise healthy, don't smoke, eat right, exercise, and was taking a multivitamin. Apparently, that's not enough because my first follow up PAP came back abnormal again. Because I had CIN3 last time, my gyno didn't want to wait it out so I had yet another LEEP just this past Monday 6/19. She just called me last night with my pathology report and it came back showing severe dysplasia. She said she was glad we did a 2nd LEEP because of the severe dysplasia.

Needless to say, I was upset to hear that it was severe dysplasia. I cried and just felt drained last night. I woke up today feeling depressed. Then for the remainder of today, I was angry. And I'm still angry...for many reasons. For having this thing to begin with (I've always been very careful), because there is no cure for the virus, because I might end up having a hysterectomy (I don't have kids and I'm not sure I want any at age 37 but I don't like the choice being taken away from me)...I could list more but I'm sure anyone who is dealing with this feels the same way. I just want this thing to be over and done with. I've quit the birth control pill and I'm doing naturopathic treatments as well. I'm doing everything possible but it just doesn't feel like it's enough. :mad:

My post LEEP PAP will be 4 months now so I'm back to playing the waiting game again. This whole ordeal just sucks. I'd love to hear more positive outcomes from women who have had CIN3....that would at least give me more hope that I won't have to resort to a hysterectomy.

If anything, it was cathartic for me to post my story. Thanks for reading.

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