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Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Message Board


Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Board Index


Girls, I'm new and could use some advice. SORRY this is so long...

I just received a diagnosis of CIN 1/mild dysplasia with high risk strain(s) of HPV after 7 normal paps in a row. I'm 27 and had been getting yearly paps since 19 (age of first sexual intercourse). My last pap in 9/2006 was normal, so I contracted the HPV last year to year and a half, depending on the incubation period. I had NO idea I had HR HPV (I was there for BV), but in retrospect, something's been off for months, a year even. I've had recurrent BV, something I've NEVER had before, and co-infections are common with STDs. I'm positive I got it from one of two partners I've had in the last 2 years (the 4 others were either virgins, or 1-2 times protected, pre-2004, so way too much time has elapsed for my infection to be from any of them). Ironically, both recent partners were tested for every STD a man can be tested for, including herpes 1 and 2, and negative for all of them, but I STILL got HR HPV. I can't even describe how dirty and ashamed I feel, and what utter hypocrisy, since I'M the one who made them both get tested, with clean results, and yet I'M the one with an STD!

I'm scared because in the less than 1 year I've had this, my HR HPV has caused mild dysplasia. I don't know why my body is not clearing it and not even strong enough to at least fight off cellular changes. I'm guessing it must be HPV16 because that's hardest to clear. I think one year --> CIN 1 means it's progressing pretty fast? My ob was very flippant with me when I went in to ask questions--he didn't think my worry was warranted in the slightest--needless to say he didn't want to biopsy me either. So I'm geting a second opinion. I've been researching LEEP v. cryo, and undecided. While I understand I do not have cancer right now, I simply can't bear the "wait and see approach," I want something done about this NOW. I don't know if my body can clear this because I still have resistant BV making it difficult if not impossible for my immune system alone to clear both.

However, I have no kids, and I definitely want at least one in the future, and I know LEEP and cryo (and the other methods) can affect that. It sucks so bad, because I have no problems with fertility and could get pregnant whenever I wanted, I just don't have anyone to do it WITH; and the prospect of surgery causing fertility problems is sitting on me like a dead weight. Since I have no boyfriend or prospects on the horizon, it may be some time before kids is a real possibility. In the meantime, I can't be going back to the gyn every 6 mo. for a repeat pap...I can't play the waiting game.

So my question is, what would you recommend?

1) My current gyn's advice, sit and wait for 6 mo. for repeat pap. No biopsy necessary unless the next pap is also abnormal. He didn't even recommend telling my current on/off partner! (This "conservative treatment" is also what my brother, a med student, recommends.)
2) Going to a second gyn and demanding cryo.
3) Going to a second gyn and demanding LEEP.
4) Going to a second gyn and demanding a colposcopy only.
5) Do nothing.
6) ???

Thing is I'm not sure how a second opinion would benefit me because I don't have my records so he has nothing to go on except the path report, and I don't want to anger my current gyn of 4 years (who is ok, if a bit uninformed about HPV) by asking for my records. I'm sure they know what that's all about.

I have no one to talk to about this. I'm so ashamed, I'm not telling close friends for fear of being the subject of gossip (people talk, even if they mean no harm) and my brother is so far away and thinks this is not much to worry about since it's CIN 1. I don't dare tell my mom...she doesn't approve of my premarital sex and would only give me the "you had it coming, you'll get no sympathy from me" spiel. Sex is a HUGE stigma in our house. I have no boyfriend...it's hard to describe the relationship I have with my current on/off partner, just suffice to say that while we aren't together I trust him and know he wouldn't engage in activity that puts my health at risk.

I have many other health problems, facing surgery again in the future, and this is the last thing I need. I almost wish I never went in for my pap. More than anything I am so disappointed in myself...I thought I had been so careful, but I could have been MORE careful, like using condoms all the time even after tests came back clean...or even not have sex anymore. And after this horrible news, I'm considering abstaining from sex forever.

Thanks for any advice.





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