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Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Message Board

Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Board Index

I got my results from the cone biopsy yesterday, and just like every other aspect of this ordeal, the news was even worse than could have been imagined. It showed invasive cancer, with the deepest lesion being 5mm, although there were clean margins at the top end of the cone. Worse, the entire surface of the cervix (1.6cm or 16mm, which was the size of the cone sample) shows a lesion. When I had the colpo on 12/17, there were only two 1mm lesions; now on 1/15 there is involvement of the entire cervix. My doctor cannot explain why this is so seemingly agressive and why it is moving so fast. Now I am even more upset that my doc's office held on to my results from 12/19 until 1/9. That's three weeks, and maybe they could have gotten a hold of this sooner.

I am scheduled to see the oncologist tomorrow to be staged, but from what I know of the FIGO guidelines, the best I can hope for is Ib2....this is a nightmare. I will let you know what my exact diagnosis is. I now have to worry about lymph node involvement, as well as bladder and other problems. I can't believe this nightmare that keeps getting worse and worse. My doc says I did everything right with my previous care and check ups, but after reading various things I think there are a million times I should have run to be checked out, and a lot of red flags that maybe I should have sought a second opinion way before November. I can't help but feel that my ignorance led to this, even though I considered myself to be on top of my medical care. Unfortunately I believed my long time doctor who told me things were fine and not to worry.

I have been reading up on hysterectomy, which breaks my heart since I wanted babies so much. Now on top of probably losing that ability, from what I've read sex is going to be no good either, between obviously losing body parts, problems with dryness, nerve damage, et cetera. I just can't believe how much having this HPV is punishing me. I'm hoping that maybe something can be done to at least preserve as many body parts as possible, even if they are no longer functional. I don't want even the ability to enjoy sex to be taken away from me as well. This is just unreal.

I would say that I hope to post some good news soon, but I am done with the hoping for the best. Each time I have, the outcome has been way worse than anyone could have predicted. Right now I'm just waiting to hear what other hideous thing is wrong with me and what else will have to be taken away.

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