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Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Message Board

Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Board Index

That's actually what concerns me most, Erie. When I was first told I had breast cancer about 5 years ago, I didn't want to believe it, so waited a year for a biopsy. It hadn't advanced any further during that time than it did at the start. A couple of weeks after the biopsy I had not one lump but now two. How did that happen so fast when I had waited a year without problems?

What left me in the most shock was the amount of what felt like punching, beating, stomping on, crushing, bruising of my breast as well as the tearing away of so many shreds of it. All of that was required in a few appointments before a person even went for surgery, leaving me in suffering from PST even before surgery, and that certainly hasn't helped recovery because it will likely remain forever more, although I am grateful for being alive. Surely women's breasts weren't designed to treated like that, I keep thinking.

After that entire awful process, which was not only exceptionally hard on the body but also the mind, I now felt that if I didn't much have cancer before, I would get it now. There were no palpable lump because it was DCIS.

After the operation, to my horror, I realized I didn't have a drain tube for what seemed like quarts of cancerous pus, so it was all forced to drain through my entire body. Guess what my thoughts were then. I have had breast pain ever since and today the scar is still red. It's as though my breast wants me to think carefully about such decision next time.

Now, after many years of not having sexual contact, they want do do the same thing to the cervix because suddenly they have found high grade abnormal cells. There is bleeding also, so this is isn't a decision to be taken lightly. .

OK, let's say I go for a colposcopy. A colposcopy is basically what I see as a prerequisite for repeated brutal colposcopies in the future, until finally so much damage is done that there is reason to perform an operation.

Each time a woman goes through this, the cervix seems to be screaming "Are you crazy? Why do you think I was put "inside of you" instead of the outside? It was to avoid this type of brutality!" Then it vomits out shocking amounts of lining as if to try to wake its owner up for the next decision.

They tell me that this colposcopy will get rid of early cancers. It seems that it hasn't done this for you, but of course all cancers take a different route and where that route goes depends as much on a person's past as on the present and future. It also depends on their current state of health and the foods they eat.

So what am I supposed to do about that bleeding if I'm such a "smart aleck know-it-all?" I haven't a clue, but sometimes feel that a strong trust in God or the self or whoever one has chosen as their master might haul in more clarity.

I may give in like everyone else, having been taught, like all the others, that corporatIons who cut the balls off of baby pigs with no empathy whatsoever, while their blood flings all over the place and they scream in ultimate agony at the top of their lungs and faint and die at their feet from shock of it, really have "my" interest at heart -- but do they? Can I not see that the biggest corporations in the world who run nearly everything and treat sweet helpless animals with such torture, might not be as loving and kind as I want to believe?

Every day I fear that women are increasingly being treated like poor innocent animals who have only a couple of weeks to enjoy the world before they are forced to endure the most grueling pain imaginable (and even not so imaginable).

Increasingly we are given fewer anesthetics while being forced to endure newer and more brutal machines. One day, I fear they may cut my infected arm or leg in the same manner. After all, it would only take a second if they used a good laser, and by the time I screamed, the appendage would already be off, just as neat and clean as if it had been done by a guillotine.

So often I try to convince myself that those who have no remorse at all for animals might really do things in my best interest, but must always remind myself to "never" forget the Jeckle side of the Hyde that most of these corporations are capable of.

Maybe women need to speak out more loudly and demand that only less invasive and safer testing be accepted for such procedures, instead of forever permitting these giant robots to become increasingly more violating, painful, and brutal.

I pray that your next cancer hasn't advanced as far as you may worry about. You may be thinking much more intellectually than I am at this stage, and even be making wiser decisions. After writing this I don't know if I will dare admit my final decision. All I wish for is that I will have to push the powers of the instinct given to me at birth to the utmost to ensure it's not derailed by a corporation that regards profit as something far more important than humanity. I have a few added concerns regarding Lyme as well, and the possible proliferation of it after this type of procedure, even though the disease itself hasn't been 100% confirmed.

Wherever you are in your stage of cancer, and whether or not you "allow" such treatment, I'm sure you will reach your decisions in the same way as I, so even if we should choose different methods (and I can't say we will), here's a "Prost" hoping our instincts lead us both to the best place -- on earth that is, for now anyway. Thanks

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