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Panic Disorders Message Board

Panic Disorders Board Index

hi i've had panic disorder ever since i was .... well all of my life basically. but it got real bad when i was 14 (something very tramatic happened to me) and now i'm so terrified of it happening again it completely rules over my life. my every breath.. every waking moment i'm terrified that its going to happen again. i'm so afraid of every little thing. sometimes i feel like i'm insane. when i get real panicky i cry and cry and i'm so afraid im gonna have a panic attack. ive become completely dependent on my bf and i don't want him to ever be away from me. he's the only thing that helps and i know thats wrong. i have to get through this myself. he's getting so fed up with my fear. just like my mom did. i feel like i'm the only person who is so bad. everyone eventually gives up on me and gets fed up. i'm afraid i'm going to ruin our relationship. when i get scared he tells me that i'm being immature and acting like a 12 year old. (which is true because i'm reverting back to my tramatic experience) then i feel completely alone and get even more scared. i know he wants to help me but i feel like he's going about it the wrong way. i dont know why i'm even posting this. i'm just really scared and trying to keep my mind off of it. i don't want to be like this anymore. its ruining my life.. it has been for years. i can't do this anymore. i need to know that i'm not the only one. i need to know that people have recovered. even if they're as bad as me. i jsut want support...... i don't know what i want. i just don't want this any more!

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