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Panic Disorders Message Board

Panic Disorders Board Index

Note: I have also posted this in the Stress/Anxiety Forum just in case I can get more feedback! I need all that I can at this point!

Oh boy - after reading through the majority of these posts, it's such a RELIEF to know that I'm not alone here. So many times, during my bouts with panic and anxiety, I feel like an alien, especially in my college lecture halls where I seem to be the only one losing my mind because of panic while everyone else is calm and cool as a cucumber. Argh.
I have been battling with GAD for about four years; however, the SEVERE panic that I had always dreaded but (thankfully) never experienced decided to spring upon me last October. I'm a junior in college, so of course, I have my fair share of stress (more than most, I'd say), but one day, in my Linguistics class, out of the blue, my stomach began to churn. And make noises. This was SO embarrassing because it's a small class (12 people) and during certain parts of the session, it's silent while we do writing exercises (I've now come to dread those).

Anyways, my stomach would NOT STOP churning. As gross as this sounds, I felt like I needed to make an extreme rush to the bathroom because of the Big D (diarrhea). Unfortunately, there are no rest rooms in that building, so I felt like I had no escape. Suddenly, the worst panic attack of my LIFE began. My heart felt like it was trapped inside of my neck, I was sweating, heart palpitating, couldn't breathe, and almost dug a gaping hole into my thumb with my pen to try to relieve the stress and the churning stomach. About 45 minutes into that Hell, I told the professor I had to leave. Thankfully, she was nice and let me go.
I cried all the way home - what just happened? Was it a simple flu virus or was it a panic attack? Did one bring on the other?

I thought it was a one-time occurrence. I thought wrong. The same thing happened in another class of mine. And again, I had to walk out. SO humiliating! I began to dread each class, each day, and each minute. My doctor put me back on Xanax (.5 mg/2 times a day) and at the beginning, it helped. Now, it seems I've become immune to it. No relief whatsoever.

I've begun abusing Immodium to the point where I know it's not healthy. I only eat foods that can be digested fairly easily, as I'm DEATHLY afraid of the "Big D/Panic Attack" to happen again. I've come very, very close to leaving lecture halls again, but try to breathe myself through it and take the Xanax in advance. Still, I dread each day. Each minute spent in a classroom is like an eternity in Dante's Tenth Circle of Hell.

Please, someone tell me that I'm not the only one. I really do feel like I'm losing my mind.

Please pray for me, and thank you for reading!

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