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Parenting Issues Message Board


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Wow Jelly & Steele I guess you've got it pretty much planned out. Well I have a little advise for you 2. From the sound of thing Steele wants to take full responsiablity for Caleb and that great. But even just signing the birth certificate doesn't give him all rights to baby if you aren't married. (no I'm not telling you to run get married before the baby is born). But an option is have Steele sign the baby's birth certificate when he's born and have the baby legitimized. That way he's saying he take responsiblity for baby even in the event that when the baby is say 5 years old you seperate and go your different ways. But having him legitimized means that Steele take full responsiablity for this child and has every right to him if something happened to you. My sister & ex weren't married when their son was born. They had him legitimized. It was only like $100.00. As for the paternity test as long as you know ex's family history and Steele doesn't want it then don't do it. When Caleb is born and you take him around Steele's family give them a little time to accept him. No I'm not talking about a year. I mean maybe about 3 months. And if they don't open up to him then don't worry about it he has you and his daddy. By the way I kinda know how you feel. When I was with my ex we kida had a break. So I started seeing someone else. My ex and I never used protection but me and my signficant other did. Well the condom kida broke but I really didn't think too much about it. I got back with my ex for a little while because I found out that the other guy who was military already had a girlfriend. I broke it off with the other guy. Got back with my ex and then I moved about 2 hours away. I found out I was preganant when I was about 4 months. I still had my period everymonth until then. Well stupid me thought ok I'm about 85% sure its my ex's but it could be the other guys. Me and my ex got back together. He knew about the other guy. The other guy had tried getting in touch with me but I wouldn't talk to him. He hurt me. Out of the 2 of them he was alot better person. Anyway! My ex already had a son who he was wonderful with. Things were really good (except for the high risk pregnancy). We named the baby and everything. He sighned his birth certificate and everything. We did good until Caleb was about 3 months old. That's my son's name too. Actually Adrian Caleb. I didn't want to name him Adrian but it was a compromise. Anyway! My ex started doing drugs all the time and I told him it was the drugs or us so he would quite for about two weeks and start up again. I was furious. So I talked him into moving back in with my mom because she had a seven bedroom house and we could just split the rent. Well we did and he quite again. One day I went to the grocery store for about 20 minutes and when I got back I went to our room. Well guess what? There he was sitting there smoking pot in front of my son. He was only six months old and didn't know what he was doing but I was pissed either way. So as evil as it may seem I decided to get a job. (I wanted to stay at home with Caleb till he was 3). When I went to work I was a waitress and made really good money. After the second day I come home and told him to pack his S... and get out because I was not going to have my son around that mess. Well he did. He also still had something to do with Caleb for a while. Well about 2 months later (I met my husband) who was a freind of my sisters. I kinda knew him too because like I said I had a hard pregnancy and he brought my sister to the hospital when I was bleeding when I was pregnant. Anyway! Caleb's so called dad had something to do with him until Caleb was about 9 months old. It was right after Christmas and I was busting my a.. to pay half the bills which were about 600.00 a month and take care of toddler and a baby too. It was the first time I ask him to buy Caleb anything since we split up. He was like F/U ask your boyfriend. I was pissed. I don't know about you but when I'm mad I cry. My sweetie called and my sister told him what happened. He lived on the other side of town. He was at my house within 30 minutes with diapers and milk for Caleb. Well dumba.. showed up right after that after all the stress and brought Caleb a bag of diapers that were too small for him. My husband (now) told him to take the diapers back to the store and get his money back because Caleb didn't need anything from him and said if I needed anything don't hesitate to call. I never really ment to fall for him but after that I couldn't help it. We moved in together after 5 months and were engaged. And then 3 months later we were married. We just celebrated our 5th anniversary. My son's both know him as their daddy and now we have our daughter who is 2. Sorry for babbling but I guess what I wanted to say was you don't need a piece of paper to tell steele that is his child as long as he accepts him for his own. The hell with the other guy. By the was my son has never had a DNA test. And my husband doesn't want me to have one and I don't recieve child support for either of my boys. My husband will not allow it. MY kids know him as daddy and they love him to death. His parents also love them so we don't have an issue there. I'm sure when the baby is born they will come around. Best wishes and I hope your delivery goes very smoothly. My first son they said oh its gonna be so hard baecause your so young. I was only in Labor for about 5 hours total. My mom had to drag me to the hospital because I did not want to go. I only went to shut her up. LOL Good thing I did I got to the hospital at 6:30 p.m. and he was born 9:19 p.m. No mediaction at all. I had to hard contarction right after they broke my water at 9:00 p.m. and 19 minutes later was a mommy. Caleb wasn't so smooth. I started to dialate 2 weeks before he was born. The hospital was my second home from the time I was 5 months pregnant. I had a horrible pregnancy and labor. I don't even remember how long I was in labor with him. I was at the hospital the night before they sent me home because my contractions were irregular. I got home at 12 mid-night I was back at the hospital at 4 a.m. he was born about 10:43
a.m. Yes I had epidurial it only lasted for about an hour and a half. I felt everything. So was the epidurial worth it. No I believe it actually slowed back down my contractions. I could have taken 2 tylenol for that little amout of relief I got. My daughter she was a fun one I was dialated for 2 weeks also with her. I went into labor probably about 1:30-2:00 p.m. in the afternoon. I was sleeping and I had a hard pain. I woke up. I called my mom and my mother-in-law who were both thousands of miles away. My husband is military. Then I called my best friend (lexi's god mother). She wanted to come get me then but I told her no because I wanted to wait for my son to get home from school first. (Yes I had 2 other people that could have got him off the bus.) Then I decided that I wanted to cook and just take it to my friend house. I was not going to the hospital hungary LOL and my frind only live 10 minutes away from hospital. So I went to the store to pick up snacks for the kids, went to my friend house and ate. My contractions started again about 6:30 p.m. 10 minutes apart for about 30 minutes and then they were 7 minutes. I called hospital they told me to stay home. We'll about 30 minutes later they were 5 minutes apart. My friend said "I'm no doctor I can't delive this baby your going to the hospital". I called the hospital back and told them I was on the way (they still told me to wait). I got to the hospital L&D at 7:45p.m. The doctor wasn't there of course. And to top things off it started to snow on the way to the hospital. They called the doctor at 8:15 and he got there about 8:40 p.m. He checked me I was only 6 cm he said "we'll break your water and I'll be back in an hour." That was at 8:50 and at 9:06 p.m I had a healthy baby girl. I know I was lucky twice with my labors. That's why there is no more babies because Caleb was a horrible labor and another kid would be probably worse. LOL Anyway! Good luck!!!!





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