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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

I wouldnt say that the parents are abusive towards the children. They yell alot and then are quit for a week or so. I suspect domestic violence in the household, but Im not sure there. Like I said before, they are military, upper-middle class income, seemingly high functioning people. I think dad has a bad temper. I dont think Ive ever seen him be physical with anyone, although it could be going on I suppose. My good friend is a social worker and when I described the situation to her, she said the main thing she would suspect is domestic violence. I apologize for seeming unconcerned with the other child involved. First and foremost, I worry about my daughter, who is younger, smaller, and being bullied. The father has continued to make remarks about me at the top of his lungs in the house. After he does this, the mother will come outside and initiate conversations with me, I think she feels guilty when he does this. At this point I just feel angry. They are making this whole thing MY problem, and my problem alone. They have never made any efforts to reverse his behavior, and are still not supervising him enough in my mind, and on top of it all, when I get upset with their son's behavior and tell him to go home, the father ends up screaming obscenities about me! My husband was home all week and I noticed the father didnt say anything. So I guess he just wants to intimidate me, and didnt want to deal with my husband. I think if I see something definitive in the next week concerning supervision or fighting, I will make a call-in the meantime, I dont let him play with my daughter. The kids are so spoiled , the daughter has a $3,000 laptop, an expensive collection of toys, and the son gets anything and everything he wants. The parents dont want to deal with tantrums, so he gets what he wants when he wants it. Ugh. The sociopath comment was mostly sarcastic. The kid is so spoiled that he acts like one. when one has no consequences for their actions, they do what they want, and have no concept of other people. He has been conditioned to be selfish I guess. i cant fix it. The most I can do is place a call when I see something that is reportable. I used to work in the court-system dealing directly with cases involving kids. Our community has a HUGE occurance of abuse and neglect, due to a large poor, rural population. Our social services department is broken beyond repair, and our public school systems are full of kids who are severely delayed, dirty, and abused. Most cases are not handled as well as they should be, because the caseload on the workers is HUGE. This family looks perfect compared to alot of what I have seen. Now im rambling... I think my job, and my community has left me a bit jaded, and thats why my first response hasnt been pity for the boy. Im not mean to him. Giving him consequences for his behavior probably helps- a little bit. But I dont want them to play together. He is cruel to my daughter, and the parents pass it off as "roughhousing". Im done with it. Im invested in my kids and unless they do something blatantly wrong, Im leaving them alone (the neighbors). There are some great parents here as well. My oldest is in a wonderful small private school so I get to see families that work and are loving. I always used to say that if I ended up with a child that bulliled, I would be deeply upset. It is a behavior that I cannot tolerate. I would feel like a bad mom if my kids decided it was okay to torment kids they perceived as weaker. And I pray they dont have to worry about becoming targets in school. Growing up, I was the kid that was nice to the kids who were bullied. I hope my kids will learn how to treat others too.

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