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Just to clarify, whether haleysmum decides to come back and visit this thread or not; I too never singled anyone out accusing them of 'targeting' anyone out and personally attacking them.But there has been statements made that were INdirectly hurtful. They weren't meant for anybody in particular. Most of the statements made here have been for the overall group. And the word 'abuse' has come up soooo many times it really begins to hurt.And THAT is what I am defending. I'm not defending my right to spank. I'm defending the fact that spanking is not abuse and that I am not an abuser because I choose this method.I do believe whole heartedly in my choices. After hearing sooo many times before the word 'abuse' and all the judgements (not oppinions) about this subject...you do begin to feel a little defensive. Haleysmum, if you come back to read, you got "walloped" and it "..hurt like crazy..."? that doesn't sound like the type of spankings I am referring to.I don't pull my dd pants down to spank her. I have. I won't do it again for the same reason you won't. It is humiliating. Because on the same token, I too can look back at my days as a child and a recall moment were my mom had pulled me across her lap bare bum and spanked me. i was humiliated as well..and I hated her (back then) for doing it to me. Now as an adult (26) I don't sit and ponder about my mothers discipline methods...I just learned my own ways. i don't agree with all of the ways my mom disciplined us. I don't have reoccuring issues of them though.But, I'm sorry at 37 you can't put the image from your mind.That tells me that it was more than an appropriate swat. My mom never inflicted crazy pain on us. We recieved a small sting.That went away in seconds. It was one particular act, that humiliated me. One act as I mentioned above, and I believe that she went a little too far. So, I DO understand why people choose not to spank. Some people are not comfortable with the method. And thats ok.And like I have said MANY times before. I think its perfectly fine for people to decide not to spank their children.We ALL know that nobody will agree whether spanking should be used or not. I can be happy with that and accept to agree to disagree. What I can't accept and what I won't be happy with, is the fact that our choice to spank is continuesly being placed hand in hand with abuse.And this is just not the case. When I spank it is not out of anger.As I swat my dd once or twice, in my mind I am not angry...I am calm. ALWAYS calm. Its when she gets me angry and to the point where I am pulling my hair out that I send her to her room (and its not the only time she gets sent to her room,she also gets sent there when I am calm as well.).So, I can cool off. So, she can reflect on what she did. I never hit out of anger...only to teach a lesson in behavior. This is where people disagree. Thats fine.Parents have a right to disagree with what signals I am sending or what I am really teaching my dd about getting spanked. THAT I AM OK WITH. I have, on bad days, gotten irrate with people who disagree with spanking. But, those were on REALLY bad days and i have appologized for those days. On any other given day however, I do not get irrate with people for the reason they don't spank. Its how ignorant they are to others views on it or how inappropriate they can be or how rude or unfair. NOT SAYING ANYONE IN PARTICULAR IS< I AM JUST GENERALIZING.There have been nasty comments. That is what I am refering to when I need to defend my decisions. I wouldn't have to 'defend' my decisions if others would stop looking down on us or telling us our kids will grow up to be horrible. Which HAS been said. I don't know who they are or which thread they came from; but there have been ladies stating that we are: bad parents.That our methods are "disgusting". That our kids will be "bullies". That we are "lazy". It doesn't take a fool to realize that when someone says quite litterally "if you spank you are physically abusing, if you yell you are mentally abusing..." that they are calling people who spank, abusers. How could you not see how we can get that we are being called abusers? Thats what I get out of it. I will not stop replying on this thread...I enjoy talking with the moms who choose to spank only because they are not mean. They haven't, from what I have read, come onto this thread to put anyone down or to judge any of us.I also enjoy reading others replies who don't believe in spanking when they are being freiendly and or respectful towards others different beliefs. I am always up for different methods to add to my list. I use different methods. The same method can't be used for ALL offences. It won't be taken seriously anymore if its too repetitive. Again.....I am not defending my method to spank. i am defending the link it has to abuse. Spanking can lead to abuse. Spanking can cause injury. Spanking can hurt a childs feelings. Spankings can have unwanted, lasting side affects. This is all true [COLOR=Red]if the spankings are not given the appropriate way[/COLOR]. I took psychology and human development...I know the statistics....I know what goes on. If you are careful not to go too far. Careful not to cross the line....spankings can be effective.And thats why [COLOR=Red]I [/COLOR] use it.Well, I've said my peace. I REALLY hope that we can stop referring to those who spank as abusers. We all understand the statistics. The kind of "spankings" that at least I am referring to, are small swats...not even remotely close to being abusive, nor having psychological damage from. To spank or not to spank THAT is the question.





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