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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

Im not a mother...but all during high school I baby sat my sister in laws 3 kids. I'd go there right after all of them all night, 8mos, 3 yrs, and 7...bathe, feed, help with homework, clean up, do my homework...get them up for school...get myself to school..keep my grades up. I did this nearly every day for almost 4 was rough. I took care of them all night, over night during school days, and all day on weekends. Trying to do school, and mother 3 children every day is really hard. And I was getting paid to do it. I didnt have to pay for their food, or clothes, or school activities...I just had to make sure everything was taken care of and done. It was hard enough with out the financial problems. I really REALLY would suggest waiting until you're done school and you're financially sound. Its hard enough when you dont have to pay for it. I got stressed out and such even when I was getting paid. I love those kids like they were my own, and they loved me too...but it just made high school hell. I never got to go out with my friends often, I still had to take care of them when I was sick...I didnt have any time for myself. And I still had to manage to get through school somehow. It's really not worth it. I've always wanted kids at a young age, Im 20 now and me and my soon to be fiance plan on trying for kids next summer. We know we're emotinally ready etc. I mean I did it, I chose to do it with other peoples kids and still get through school, and i loved it, I loved the kids...and I know if it were my own I would too. And my lifes more settled now, so it'd be easier. But it was tough, and I can honestly say it wasnt my best move. I lacked a lot of things, and missed a lot of opportunities that you only get when you're young. But, if we arent financially ready, we're not even going to try, because thats not fair to the kid, or to us. What kind of life does a kid have if its managing to barely get by, barely having enough food to eat, good clothes to wear, and if you're working all the time to support it? If you're hoping your mother/father will look after it while you work. Thats not fair either. You cant put your responsibilities onto someone else. Wait until you know for a fact you can support a baby and yourself, and that you're ready. Ask any teen mother, and they'll tell you, if they could go back and do it all over again, they'd have tried to delay having a child til they were older. I have lots of friends who had kids at 14/15/16 and they love their kids to death, but they're just kids too...they're missing out on a lot in life, and it hurts them. A baby changes everything so much. I really really would wait if I were you, because once you have a baby, you cant turn around and decide you dont want it anymore and go back to living life the way you did before it was born. You have to take care of it and raise it, no matter what. Make sure you're ready for that, and 100% positive you want a baby, because if anything, you owe it to your future child.

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