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Parenting Issues Message Board


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Well, I've read some good suggestions. Now my wife and I are going to make a list of chores(daily and weekly) for my step son. Our counselor suggested this and we just need to implement it. The easy part will be making the list, I think the difficult part will be ensuring it is adhered to.
This morning was a good one for the most part. He woke up, took his shower(he gets himself ready for school everyday) and even cleaned up his room and made his bed! (usually he takes 20 minutes to put on his shoes b/c he's veggin' out infront of the TV watching cartoon network.) That's every now and then when that happens.(the cleaning the room part!) I also think one of the big problems is that I'm on shift work, so every 7 days I get on a different shift and only 1 of the 3 different shifts I am here in the morning with the rest of my family. My wife is one of those people that have trouble waking up in the morning (3 or 4 snoozes on the alarm clock!), me on the other hand can wake up to an ant sneezing. With the wife the way she is and her routine (wake up, shower immediately and get dressed, then go off to work), there's no time for her to ensure the son does what he needs to do because by the time she's out of the shower, he's out the door to catch the bus. So, hopefully the daily "things to do" list will help in the aspect of him knowing what's required and that we will enforce the consequences if the chores aren't finished.
That's a part I'm kind of stuck on..... what do I do/take away from him if he doesn't do what's required?
There really is nothing when I think about it, he comes home after school, does his homework and goes outside to play when there's time. It's getting dark so early now, so really, he doesn't do too much! He might watch some TV with us, but we rarely watch it, too. Maybe some wheel of fortune and jeopardy, and one of the 8 o'clock shows, but that's it.
He does get $5 a week for "keeping his room clean" and taking out trash and window washing(which rarely gets done) and cleaning up the table after every meal. In every one's opinion, is that too much money for the work? Or should there be more money or more work? My opinion is that he should do a little more, but what else is there really?
I don't know, any more suggestions would be helpful. Things aren't too bad here, lately. He doesn't give me attitude as long as I'm not requesting him to do stuff/ pick up/ clean up after himself. He's one of those "I know everything" 9 yr olds. and with him being a step son, its harder b/c I have a hard time sometimes seeing him as my kid. It's like he resents me b/c I tell him to do stuff his mom doesn't I guess. She, in my opinion, Is slack. We've had the conversation/ arguments that the things I harp on don't really matter b/c all it's doing is creating animosity and resentment from the boy to me. But I want a clean and liveable house AND I want him to learn to be responsible and follow through. I know that from what you're reading you probably think I live in a pig pen, but it's not as bad as it sounds. It's the simple, easily done things. Putting the milk away(he's done that twice now, left it out all night to go bad. I know it wasn't on purpose, but had he followed through, it wouldn't have happened), picking up the bathroom when he's done showering, just putting stuff away when you're done with it..... I just get frustrated when it's not done b/c I see it as so easy to do. It would take less than 30 seconds to do most of the stuff I want.
Anyway, enough griping. I appreciate the replies and hope they keep coming. I'm getting some good ideas here....
sorry for the long read. :dizzy:





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