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Re: I Am So Mad!
Oct 16, 2004
Let me go back and touch on a few things as far as my feelings towards my MIL. Myladay, it sounds as if you had a horrible childhood that seemed to haunt your adaulthood. I can see exactly where you are coming from as far as not knowing that you ARE worth something. When a person is beat down for that long and from such an early age. YOU WERE JUST A BABY! I was up all night worrying and thinking about you. I am not sure where your situation stands at this point in your life, but I prayed that you have been able to get away from any and ALL abuse. Please let me know.

As far as the mil goes, I honestly know that she has chosen to live this way because she is lazy. We have had hours of talks over the years and the last talk we had after she went to Houston this last time & brought him back here. She flat out told me that his Mother had pasted away and left him a house and a trust fund and that he recieves a monthly check. She said that as long as she stays with him, she will not have to work and she would rather put up with the abuse rather than go out and get a job. I do not believe that in her situation she feels that she has no where to turn. She just does not want to put forth any effort. She has allways been lazy when it comes to herself appearance or the environment in which she lives. I am not kidding when I say that you can actually see the evolution process of a fly! All you have to do is look at the dirty filled food dishes stacked on the kitchen cabinet. Magets are on the bottom and the flys are all over the top of the stack. The filth in her house is undescribable. In my house we wash our clothes after each wear, the bed linens are changed 1 a weeks, and when you finished, you wash your dishes and clean the kitchen. We live in the country and have some land and therefore, we track quite a bit of stuff through house and it is usually vacumed at least 2 x's a week. We take a bath everyday and take care of ourselves. I would not consider myself a clean freak. I would recomend that anyone eat off of my floors, but the house is clean. When she has lived with us it was a constant battle. Each time she has showed up to live with us I would make her leave her things outside. She would have to go through stuff and shake them out. I did this because she would bring roaches into my house otherwise. NOT IN MY HOUSE. I know there sometimes you can't help but have roaches because close living conditions, but this woman has had to put a roach bomb in her car! & I am not kidding. I think they were able to infest her car via her purse. I have seen them crawl out of her ourse on 3 different occasions. This is not a woman that is trapped with NO WHERE to turn or that has no one to help her. It is purely laziness.

As far as my DH's childhood, yes, I assume that he was better off being bounced from family to family instead of living with his mother. BUT he has never felt wanted by anyone. He was allways a burdon and was told that frequently by the family members. His Mother was trash & therefore as a little boy that did not know the difference was punished by people in the family that had ill feelings towards her. She did not have an abusive childhood by any means. I have been with my husband for 13 years and I do not know his family. I only know his mother. But from what he tells me, her brothers and sisters are all normal and nothing like his mother. I just have a hard time understanding why she would even have a child if she did not want one. NO my husband did not go through anything like you had to endure Ladyshy, but he was still mentally abused. He is a wonderful husband and Daddy and I would not change a thing about him. But by the grace of God, he does not struggle with emotional problems and does not feel sorry for himself the type of childhood he had. GEEESH! I think I would. I do not know how he has been able to get over his past, but I am so very proud of him for the person he has become.

I do not feel like I am mean to my mil, but I am not afraid to speak my mind. And she knows it. She is a chain smoker and will throw a lit cigerette down on the grass and walk off and not even put it out. I have told her a GAZZILION TIMES not to do that. Before our daughter was born it was do to fear of a grass fire. (we live out on a bunch of land) And now it is dur to the fact that my daughter picks anything up and it gose straight to her little mouth. I asked her once how she would feel if Riley were to pick up a hot cigerertte and put in her mouth and she just laughed and said that she would only do it once. My daughter 13 months old at that time. So of course, my mouth overloaded my butt and I told her to get the heck away from my house and that if she did not care anymore about her grand daughter than that, she should not come back. My husband was stand there and witnessed everything and never said a word. When she pulled out of the driveway I thought he would be upset at me. He just turned his head and looked at me and said "wanna go get some icecream Momma". He just cracks me up. He will not say anyhting to her, but I will and he has never had a problem with me doing that. I must say, he is pretty laid back.

Anyway, I am just rambling now & I am sorry this has turned into such a long post. Thanks for listening and I am still open to suggestions and I promise Ladyshy, I will keep you post in the front of my brain today when she is here.

Ladyshy, I would really like to know how you are doing now. I understand if you do not want to get into it any further, but please know I am here to listen.

Have a great weekend everone.

Kim





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