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Parenting Issues Message Board

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Hi Haley!

I just have a few questions for you. Do you get the same story from the that you get from your don? Do they also say that it is allways him defending himself? If so.....then why in the world are they not doing anything to the other kids? I think that if mutiple children are invovled in breaking the rules then they should ALL be treated the same. They should not "go easy" just because they have not gone to the school as long as your son has. I would speak up and get to the bottm of this issue. I know it is not allways good to stir things up at your childs school. is not it is not allways good to not stand up for you child when they are not being treated fairly.

If this is the 13th call you have gotten in just a few months then it sounds as if there may be an anger issue with your son. Is it possible that he has a hard time restraining himself when he gets mad? I know that kids are tough and very mean, but so is the world of an adult. He is going to have to learn somehow to controll himself. Maybe some of the kids know that a "little poke in his side" is going to push him oveer the edge and he is going to fight back so they do this to him out of some sort of sick enjoyment. I really do not know....I am just making guesses at this point.

And I do not want to step on your toes here but I have to ask this. Are you sure that your son is not a trouble maker at school and then very well behsved at home? I know that a lot of kids have the wool pulled over their parents eyes. And let's face is not easy to see that your child is a bully or a trouble maker. BUT my 1st queston should answer that for you. If the school is backing him up that he is allways defending himself then I would throw a serious fit thatnothing is being done to stop the other kids. And for petes sake I would be a really mad Mom if my child were being punished for simply defending himself. Especially if it is done in a practical matter. (defending that is)

I would schedule a meeting with all of teachers together. And also the school counselor and the principle. Let them know that you are willing to work with them to get to the bottom of this. Whatever it is you have got to find out and get him some help. Rather it be counseling or finding out the main children that he is having problems with and meet with those parents as well.

I do not believe that it is allways a good idea for parents to solve all of their childrens problems. They learn how to do it better for themselves and at the age of 10 I think he should be learning how to responsibly handle situations w/out vioence, but it sounds like he really needs his moms help with this.

Good luck and please keep us posted.


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