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Parenting Issues Message Board


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Re: Bully issue
Nov 19, 2004
Soulcatcher,
I am so glad that you wrote in. You really know what is going on. I think that there is a big difference between chronic bullying and the occassional inconvenience of repelling minor bullying attempts. A little bit of a challenge that results in success is fine and possibly healthy. The kind of stuff that you are talking about can not be tolerated even if it didn't get physical. I will help my daughter in varying degrees depending on the circumstances. If an 8 year old child can't sleep at night than there is a problem. If a child's basic personality is changing then there is a problem. If this becomes physical on school groundsthen she will be put into private school. I don't see that as happening because the school does not tolerate that sort of thing at least at this age.

I went to a school that allowed things to happen as you describe. I witnessed inocent girls getting put into the hospital and there only fault was to be different such as having a low IQ or being too pretty or wearing the wrong cloths or having depression or coming from a wealthy family... whatever excuse seemed to justify it too the bully. There is a reason why bullying is gaing so much national attention right now. IT IS A PROBLEM.

I hope that you can give yourself a break for the part that you may have taken in your past to contribute to the bullying of other kids. You were without support and managed as best that you could in the game of survival of the fittest. Just get treatment and try to break the cycle. Adults probably didn't understand the issues like they can today if they do a little research. It was always assumed that if you keep throwing the kid back into the bullying situation then they'd learn to deal with it somehow. That's not how it works for all children. They need adult guidance.

Terry





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