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Re: Teens Drinking
Jul 5, 2005
[QUOTE=sfgirl2005]Hi Goody! :wave:

I'm still considered a newbie in here, but not with parenting. Although I don't share the same situation as you do with your daughter, I have a teen-age son. But reading your post and about your daughter sounds like your daughter is testing hers & your boundaries to see how far she can go.[/QUOTE] Thanks, sfgirl, for popping in and giving me the added reassurance that us moms of teens are in so much need of. I am sure that this is a test and I am finding that most of the time I am doing okay....I just wish that things would be more "friendly" between us....we are getting there but it's taken us a while. I think that it's taking a turn now that her younger sister is going through similar things and she sees our parenting the same. For instance, my 14 year old just started her first job and we are limiting her hours and keeping a close watch over things having learned through my older daughter some things that we had overlooked. It certainly makes it alot easier and in fact my older daughter is now an acvocate for her younger sister having just informed me that she is being underpaid and that we should step in on her behalf because in her Economics class she had learned that minimum wage is $5.75/hr. while in training and $7.00/hr. once on her own. Her employer paid her only $5.00/hr while training and has yet to discuss a normal pay with her. So it is on my to-do list to make a call to her boss today and discuss this with him. Hopefully my older daughter is correct & I don't make a fool of mysefl :eek:

[QUOTE=sfgirl2005]I think grounding her is great... but in my humble opinion, not long enough. Don't worry, a parent is never too strict when it comes to things that might harm their children. It's our responsibility and I think you and your husband are great parents. You are enough to come in here and post.[/QUOTE] I have found that grounding too harshly doesn't work well with my 16 year old. I have found that finding where it hits her the most is a better strategy. Right now it's her savings towards a car. With her last incident of sneaking alcohol from us I took $500 out of her savings acoount teling her that it was the penalty for theft and her behavior. I told her since it was her first offense that it will be restored at our discretion with good bahavior but if there were any further offenses that I would deduct another $500 each time and she would lose the opportunity of having it returned. I find that this works best with my 16 year old whereas limiting social contact with friends works best with my younger one who is 14. And thanks for the compliment in terms of my parenting :D Since I consider it my most important job it means alot. ;)

[QUOTE=sfgirl2005]When I was your daughter's age, I started off that same path. I was a good student, but an angry child. Long story, and I'll spare you the details. But what saved my not going deeper into the drug & alcohol alley is an angel who I will call Joyce (my high school sweethearts mom) took me under her wings and became the strict parent I needed. Yeah, we butted heads, I made her cry, but she loved me so much, she didn't give up. She kept me on a short leash, she asked the 4 W's = where, when, who & what.[/QUOTE] I'm also a strong believer in the 4 W's...funny how you mentioned them because my kids hear it all the time so I know that I must be doing the right thing when you so openly shared how with lots of love we can make a difference. I know that during these years my daughters need a parent much more than a friend....and in the years ahead we will be friends after my job is done. :D

[QUOTE=sfgirl2005]Your daughter sounds like she's just experimenting and she sounds like she's still on the right path. She still sounds like a great, well-adjusted young lady by talking openly with you, giving you the empty bottle, etc. Just keep at her and listen to her. Don't give up. This too shall pass. Just ask the 4-W's. One day, you and your daughter will look back at this and laugh. Just keep telling her that you're being strict because you love her that much.

SFGirl[/QUOTE] Thanks agian, sfgirl!!! Your post really lifted my spirits and I too believe that me & my daughters will have lots of laughs when we look back on these years. Thanks for reminding me of that.

Heartland ~ Goody's up & running in the internet department again. Sure feels great to be back. Hope all is well and that you had a great weekend. I see on the Friends thread that you are a little your CBF I would love to hold your hand and certainly get you off the couch ;) BTW...whose idea was that??? Did you remove yourself or were you asked to leave???? I know that things must be tense and I would like to remind you of the wind & sun theory and shields theory that we know so well. I have a feeling that the shields are all up in the Heartland household and I would like to help you get them back down. I am here for you my friend and wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts & prayers. If you need to hop on the road again you just holler....I am always here for you ~ Goody :wave:

PS...I have since reread your post and see that it was you that relocated to the couch :nono: I know that it was once advice you gave me but under the circumstances I see it as making things worse than better my friend. Goody must speak her mind and tell you that us Leos do not deal well with abandonment of the "Lion's" den by our mates ;) Talk to me....Goody

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